1
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,758
[person 1] Make sure
I'm in the frame.
2
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:26,726
Make sure you get my head.
I want to see my hair.
3
00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,662
All right, all right.
[person 1] Janis, hurry up!
4
00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:30,031
It's not easy
making a movie.
5
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,731
You better not
drop my phone.
6
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:33,500
You got it?
7
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,468
Yep. Yep. Yep.
Okay, here we go.
8
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,071
Hey... Oh, Lord.
[Janis] Shit.
9
00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:39,173
We're Cloverfielding.
Pick it up.
10
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,508
Give me a minute.
[person 1] Make sure
I'm in the frame, girl.
11
00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:44,544
Give me a minute!
Am I in the frame?
12
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:45,813
I'm in there?
[Janis] Yes.
13
00:00:45,947 --> 00:00:47,281
Get me in the frame?
Yeah.
14
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:48,448
You got my head in there?
Yeah.
15
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,717
Boom, let's go.
16
00:00:50,852 --> 00:00:53,221
♪ It's a cautionary tale ♪
17
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:54,989
♪ Of fear and lust and pride ♪
18
00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:59,392
♪ Based on actual events
Where people died ♪
19
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:00,727
No one died.
20
00:01:00,862 --> 00:01:01,896
♪ But how far
Would you go ♪
21
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:04,497
♪ To be popular and hot? ♪
22
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:07,235
♪ Would you resist temptation? ♪
23
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:08,602
♪ No, you would not! ♪
24
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,370
♪ Just admit it sometimes ♪
25
00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:15,542
♪ Mean is what you are
Mean is easier than nice ♪
26
00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:18,545
♪ And though mean
Can take you far ♪
27
00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:22,016
♪ Maybe this will
Make you think twice ♪
28
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:23,818
Spin. Clicker. Fosse!
29
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:27,721
♪ This is a cautionary tale ♪
30
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,825
♪ About corruption
And betrayal ♪
31
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:33,227
♪ And getting hit by a bus! ♪
32
00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:36,596
♪ You can't buy integrity ♪
[vocalizing]
33
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:41,836
♪ At the mall
It's not for sale ♪
34
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:42,769
Truth.
35
00:01:42,904 --> 00:01:46,539
♪ This is a cautionary ♪
36
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:52,980
♪ Tale! ♪
37
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:05,792
[birds chirping]
38
00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,564
♪ I used
To think I would spend ♪
39
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:14,668
♪ Every second I have ♪
40
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:18,005
♪ Right where my story began ♪
41
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,675
♪ I'd be happy here ♪
42
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:24,345
♪ Every day, month
Year of my life ♪
43
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:28,916
♪ But now I'm wishing
For whatever comes
After goodbye ♪
44
00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:32,752
♪ On every star in the sky ♪
45
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:38,859
♪ And I'm dreaming of
What I could become ♪
46
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:42,063
♪ This is where home will be ♪
47
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:45,732
♪ As long as my lungs
Can breathe ♪
48
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:49,370
♪ But my heart is dyin'
To leave ♪
49
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:52,139
♪ 'Cause I know there's more
To me ♪
50
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:54,574
♪ I don't want to live with
What ifs... ♪
51
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:55,943
Cady?
52
00:02:56,077 --> 00:02:57,878
I've been thinking
about what you said.
53
00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:00,780
About being frustrated
by my decision
54
00:03:00,915 --> 00:03:02,482
and feeling
a little stuck here,
55
00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:03,683
just me and you.
56
00:03:03,818 --> 00:03:05,186
I'm sorry I yelled.
57
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:07,355
But you have a point.
58
00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:08,655
Maybe I've been
a little selfish,
59
00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:10,358
putting my research ahead
60
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:12,159
of your social
and emotional development.
61
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:14,395
I called the people
from Northwestern back.
62
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:15,896
I took the job.
63
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:17,764
What?
64
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,467
But they need me
to start on September 9th.
65
00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:23,137
♪ I don't want to live
With what ifs, might haves ♪
66
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:26,874
♪ Could have been if I had ♪
Cady?
67
00:03:27,008 --> 00:03:31,479
♪ Only tried, not held back
Oh, no ♪
68
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,381
♪ That's not a part of my plan ♪
69
00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:36,851
♪ That's not the me that I
That's not the me that I am ♪
70
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:39,753
♪ This time
There's no lookin' back ♪
71
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:44,258
♪ I'm crossing things
Off my list ♪
72
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:48,062
♪ Don't want to run out of time
Before I wake up and find ♪
73
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:50,831
♪ There was a life
That I missed ♪
74
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:54,701
♪ My limit doesn't exist ♪
75
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,180
I'll pick you up at 3:00.
76
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:07,714
[chuckles]
77
00:04:12,153 --> 00:04:15,990
♪ I don't want to live
With what ifs, might haves ♪
78
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:19,793
♪ Could have been if I had ♪
79
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:23,797
♪ Only tried, not held back
Oh, no ♪
80
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:27,368
♪ That's not a part of my plan
That's not the me that I am ♪
81
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,337
♪ No what ifs, regrets ♪
82
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:34,075
♪ Wear my strengths
And weakness ♪
83
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:38,446
♪ I won't hide my feelings
Oh, no ♪
84
00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:41,614
♪ That's not a part of my plan
That's not the... ♪
85
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,818
[gasps]
Bitch, move.
86
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,620
[bubble pops]
[chewing]
87
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,562
Hope you all
had a good summer.
88
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:55,930
Mine was pretty good.
89
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:58,499
I worked
in my brother-in-law's
90
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,134
golf pro shop.
91
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:03,070
Did not make a lot of money,
so of course I am back
92
00:05:03,204 --> 00:05:06,173
to help shepherd you all
into the future.
93
00:05:11,846 --> 00:05:13,613
May I have everyone's
attention, please?
94
00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:16,016
Eyes to the front of the room.
95
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:19,120
You may notice
we have a new student
joining us today.
96
00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:20,955
She just moved here
from Kentucky.
97
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:21,822
Kenya.
98
00:05:21,956 --> 00:05:24,391
Kenya. Her name is Caddy.
99
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,127
It's Cady. Cady Heron.
100
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:28,761
My apologies.
I will commit that to memory.
101
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:32,699
Cady, like the Canadian
songstress k.d. lang,
102
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:36,270
and Heron,
like the illegal street drug.
103
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,906
Thank you, Caddy.
It's Cady.
104
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,708
Cady, hi. I'm Ms. Norbury.
I'll be your homeroom teacher.
105
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,043
This is your roster.
106
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,879
I see I also have you
for A.P. Calculus.
107
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,047
You must have had excellent
teachers at your old school.
108
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,883
Oh, I was homeschooled.
Homeschooled?
109
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,718
Oh, that's a fun way
to take jobs from my union.
110
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,120
No, I'm joking. It's fine.
Ah.
111
00:05:53,254 --> 00:05:55,089
Um, do you think you can
follow this schedule?
112
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:56,891
Yeah, I think so.
Okay, you're gonna be moving
113
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,626
from class to class
with each...
114
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:01,362
That's it.
115
00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:03,796
Everybody find a seat.
116
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,232
Please.
117
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,838
This is first period:
118
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,439
American Literature.
119
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,441
♪ My name is Mister Rapp ♪
120
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,877
♪ And I take no...? ♪
121
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:21,315
♪ My name is Mister Rapp
And I take no...? ♪
122
00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:23,150
"...care of myself"?
123
00:06:23,284 --> 00:06:28,155
"Crap."
Correct answer was "crap."
124
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,591
Find a seat.
125
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,393
I don't want you
to think of me
126
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,861
as just any other teacher.
127
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,296
I prefer to think of myself
128
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,298
as a time traveler.
[school bell rings]
129
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:41,235
Maintenant nous choisissons
nos noms français.
130
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,370
Cady. Comment tu t'appelles?
131
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,738
Je m'appelle Cady.
Incorrecte!
132
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:48,375
You have to pick
a French name.
133
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:49,677
All the French people I know
134
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,879
just call me Cady.
[chuckles]
135
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,914
Just say Marie.
136
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,450
Um... Marie?
137
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,018
Marie.
138
00:06:58,152 --> 00:07:00,621
J'anice.
J'anice.
139
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:03,324
Chanel.
Non.
140
00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:04,757
Fantine.
Non.
141
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:06,193
Celine Dion?
142
00:07:06,327 --> 00:07:07,328
Non.
143
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,196
Beyoncé.
144
00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:11,131
Quais. Mais non.
145
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,703
Welcome to "Health
and Human Sexuality."
146
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,038
Now, this fall
we'll be getting
147
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:21,308
into the state-mandated unit
on Abstinence.
148
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:23,210
Of course then followed by,
in the spring,
149
00:07:23,344 --> 00:07:25,045
Condoms and Choking.
150
00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,715
Where do you think
you're going there, hotshot?
151
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,483
I need to urinate.
152
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:30,718
No way, José.
153
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,386
Uh, it's Cady.
154
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:33,721
Well, Cady,
155
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,788
first thing you need to do
is ask permission.
156
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,458
But the second thing
you'll need
157
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,593
is this lavatory pass
158
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,595
that is shaped
like a sperm whale.
159
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:42,963
Get it?
160
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,632
Um...
161
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,700
May I please have
the lavatory pass?
162
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,936
No, you may not.
You may go sit back down.
163
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,771
You can go at lunch.
Nice try, kiddo.
164
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,207
All right,
let's jump into this!
165
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,876
This won't be awkward at all,
I swear to God.
166
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,329
Are you okay in there?
167
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:49,630
[Cady] Uh, yes.
168
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,332
'Cause you've been in there
a very long time.
169
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:52,866
We're concerned
you're either doing drugs
170
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,368
or having a toilet baby.
171
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,439
Hi. I'm Janis.
172
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,374
And je m'appelle Sasha Fierce.
173
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:01,575
This is Damian.
174
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:02,943
He is almost too gay
to function.
175
00:09:03,077 --> 00:09:05,379
But I push through.
I manage.
176
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,547
Hi.
177
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:07,848
[Damian] We've been
watching you all day.
178
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,249
You're a mess.
179
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:13,454
So we volunteer to amplify
your lunch experience.
180
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:16,457
Yeah, what Damian is saying is
we will help you, Caddy.
181
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:20,728
Thanks so much.
Um... it's Cady.
182
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,996
Yeah.
I'm gonna call you Caddy.
183
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:24,765
Get out of the toilet!
184
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,367
Mkay.
185
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:29,503
You just need to find
your clique and commit to it.
186
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:30,938
You have your Jocks.
187
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,773
[shouting]
188
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,576
Your Corny Horny Band Freaks.
189
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,314
Your Classic Burnouts.
190
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:41,982
[growls]
191
00:09:42,116 --> 00:09:43,217
Do any of these feel
like your people?
192
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,219
I don't think so.
[Damian] Hmm...
193
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,187
You know what might
be cute for her?
194
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:48,489
What, Grade Grubbers?
195
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,891
No, I was gonna say
Theater Mess.
196
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,298
And who's at that table?
197
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,835
[Damian] Oh, no, no, no.
198
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,302
We call them the Plastics
199
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,104
'cause they're shiny,
fake and hard.
200
00:10:04,238 --> 00:10:05,773
Yeah, that's Gretchen Wieners.
201
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,008
She knows everything
about everybody.
202
00:10:08,142 --> 00:10:09,777
That's why
her hair's so big.
203
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,545
It's full of secrets.
204
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:12,980
And that's Karen Shetty.
205
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,581
She's the dumbest person
you'll ever meet.
206
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:18,252
I once saw her put a D
in the word "orange."
207
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,020
[bubbling]
208
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:23,257
Could I just sit
with you guys?
209
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,225
I actually don't know.
210
00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:26,727
We've never been asked
that question before.
211
00:10:26,861 --> 00:10:27,896
Could she?
212
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,130
We are very exclusive,
213
00:10:30,264 --> 00:10:33,700
but I think we can make
an exception.
214
00:10:35,804 --> 00:10:38,038
What was that?
Oh, Lord, it's the Queen Bee.
Don't look her in the eye!
215
00:10:51,285 --> 00:10:56,290
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
216
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:02,329
♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
217
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,432
♪ Fear me, love me ♪
218
00:11:05,566 --> 00:11:09,203
♪ Stand and stare at me ♪
219
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,638
♪ And these? ♪
220
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,440
♪ These are real ♪
221
00:11:13,574 --> 00:11:17,344
♪ I've got money and looks ♪
222
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:23,183
♪ I am, like, drunk with power ♪
223
00:11:23,317 --> 00:11:28,857
♪ This whole school
Humps my leg ♪
224
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:32,359
♪ Like a Chihuahua ♪
225
00:11:32,493 --> 00:11:37,598
♪ I'm the prettiest poison
You've ever seen ♪
226
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:42,937
♪ That filter you use
Looks just like me ♪
227
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:47,842
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
228
00:11:47,976 --> 00:11:52,579
♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
229
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:57,451
♪ I don't care who you are ♪
230
00:11:57,584 --> 00:12:00,120
♪ I don't care ♪
231
00:12:00,254 --> 00:12:07,327
♪ How you feel ♪
232
00:12:07,461 --> 00:12:08,562
You.
233
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:10,330
Yeah, you. Come here.
234
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,440
Why don't I know you?
235
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,577
I'm new. I just moved here
from Kenya.
236
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,212
Shut up.
237
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:26,780
Shut up!
238
00:12:26,915 --> 00:12:28,415
I didn't say anything.
239
00:12:28,549 --> 00:12:30,217
You're, like, really pretty.
240
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,287
Thanks.
So you agree?
241
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,788
You think
you're really pretty?
242
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,424
Oh, I don't know.
243
00:12:37,558 --> 00:12:40,727
You're an international
student. That is so fetch.
244
00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:41,963
What is "fetch"?
245
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,899
It's like slang
from an old movie.
246
00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:48,036
Juno, I think.
[sighs]
247
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,403
Have you ever touched a tiger?
248
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:52,040
Uh, no, those aren't
indigenous to Kenya.
249
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,675
'Cause that's one
of my life goals.
250
00:12:54,809 --> 00:12:57,077
To not touch a tiger.
251
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,179
Hey, new girl!
You want to see a trick?
252
00:12:59,313 --> 00:13:00,647
I can guess
any girl's bra size.
253
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,783
All you got to do
is jump one time.
254
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,919
Ew, Jason!
Do me.
255
00:13:05,053 --> 00:13:06,420
Oh, my God, Jason.
256
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:09,423
You do not come to a party
at my house with Gretchen
257
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,291
and then skeeze on the new girl
right in front of me.
258
00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:13,327
Do you want to have sex
with him?
259
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,762
Oh, uh... no, thank you.
260
00:13:15,897 --> 00:13:16,998
Okay, then it's settled.
261
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,265
Jason, no one thinks
you're funny.
262
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:19,533
Okay? And this thing
you're doing
263
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,002
where you lower your voice
when you talk
264
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,336
is making people really sad.
265
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,338
Excuse me, anyone
who would like Jason Weems
266
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,340
to go back
to his normal speaking voice,
267
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,608
please raise your hand.
268
00:13:31,913 --> 00:13:33,246
Yeah.
269
00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:34,916
Bitch.
270
00:13:35,049 --> 00:13:36,383
Wow.
271
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,652
You're really gonna
get noticed around here.
272
00:13:39,353 --> 00:13:40,687
We should help you.
273
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,157
Can you give us some privacy
for a sec?
274
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:46,526
Oh. Yeah, sure.
275
00:13:50,064 --> 00:13:52,366
I have your lunch!
276
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:55,268
All right.
277
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,371
So, we never really
do this, but...
278
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,940
...you're invited
to eat lunch with us
279
00:13:59,073 --> 00:14:00,942
for the rest of the week.
Oh. Um...
280
00:14:01,075 --> 00:14:03,677
That's okay.
On Wednesdays,
we wear pink.
281
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:05,479
[chuckles]
282
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,415
They want me to have lunch
with them all week.
283
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,250
[chuckles]
That is tits!
284
00:14:10,384 --> 00:14:11,752
She means "that's great."
285
00:14:11,886 --> 00:14:13,787
I don't really get why
you guys hate them so much.
286
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:16,057
Regina seems kind of cool.
No, no... [chuckles]
287
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,624
Regina George is not cool.
288
00:14:17,758 --> 00:14:19,526
She's a scum-sucking
life ruiner.
289
00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:22,229
Janis hates Regina
because when we were
in sixth grade,
290
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,564
she told everybody
that she was--
Hey, Damian!
291
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:25,632
What?
292
00:14:25,766 --> 00:14:26,566
Shall we not?
293
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,102
[Damian]
I am providing context.
294
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:29,236
Caddy?
295
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,072
You should have lunch
with them
296
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,007
and then report back
and tell us
297
00:14:33,141 --> 00:14:35,143
every stupid, moronic thing
they said.
298
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,678
Spy on them? That's bad.
299
00:14:37,812 --> 00:14:39,346
No! Look at us.
300
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,950
Would we ever ask you
to do something bad?
301
00:14:43,084 --> 00:14:44,785
Uh...
302
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,722
Okay.
Yes!
303
00:14:48,856 --> 00:14:50,958
Do you have a pink shirt
I can borrow?
304
00:14:51,092 --> 00:14:53,094
No!
Yes! What shade?
305
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,163
Welcome to A.P. Calculus.
306
00:14:55,295 --> 00:15:00,567
Congratulations.
You know more math
than 85% of Americans.
307
00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:03,838
But you will not rest
on your laurels this year.
308
00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:06,174
I plan to push you.
309
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,474
So let's get started.
310
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:10,610
Chapter One, "Limits
and Their Properties."
311
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,212
What the heck are limits,
you say?
312
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:13,647
If I write out the equation,
313
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:16,683
"The limit as x approaches two
of [x 1],"
314
00:15:16,818 --> 00:15:18,585
the function is what
we're taking the limit of.
315
00:15:18,719 --> 00:15:20,487
I don't expect you to know
how to do this yet.
316
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:21,989
The limit equals three.
317
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,025
That's right.
318
00:15:24,158 --> 00:15:25,392
Let's try another one.
319
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,260
Find the value of k
320
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,429
for which the following
limit exists.
321
00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:31,966
K equals negative three.
Damn, girl!
322
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,002
Wow.
323
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,572
Are you trying to make
the rest of us feel dumb?
324
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:41,742
No, I... I'm not trying to.
It's just, uh, happening.
325
00:15:41,876 --> 00:15:45,947
Oh, okay, it's like that.
All right, um, well...
326
00:15:46,981 --> 00:15:48,482
challenge accepted.
327
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,689
[chuckles]
328
00:15:55,823 --> 00:15:57,959
♪ When I was nine ♪
329
00:15:58,092 --> 00:15:59,426
♪ I fell in love ♪
330
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,528
♪ This Peace Corps guy ♪
331
00:16:02,763 --> 00:16:05,599
♪ I waited hours
Inside his tent with flowers ♪
332
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:08,236
♪ Which made him laugh
Which made me cry ♪
333
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:09,770
♪ By 13 I gave up trying ♪
334
00:16:09,904 --> 00:16:13,074
♪ I decided I would be
A mathematician ♪
335
00:16:13,207 --> 00:16:14,574
♪ 'Cause math is real ♪
336
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,543
♪ I memorized a lot of pi ♪
337
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:19,046
♪ Because addition
And subtraction and division ♪
338
00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:22,649
♪ Would never make me feel
So stupid with love ♪
339
00:16:22,783 --> 00:16:24,185
♪ I didn't get it ♪
340
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,121
♪ I didn't get it, somehow ♪
341
00:16:27,255 --> 00:16:30,158
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
342
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:34,628
♪ I didn't get it
I didn't get it till now ♪
343
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:38,632
♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪
344
00:16:39,901 --> 00:16:42,536
♪ So thank you, math
For being there ♪
345
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,939
♪ To bring me joy ♪
346
00:16:46,174 --> 00:16:47,774
♪ And thank you, math ♪
347
00:16:47,909 --> 00:16:50,912
♪ 'Cause now you've brought me
This cute boy ♪
348
00:16:51,045 --> 00:16:53,147
♪ He's like someone from TV ♪
349
00:16:53,281 --> 00:16:56,416
♪ He's like that guy
Who gives out roses
To those women ♪
350
00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:58,019
♪ His clothes, his grooming ♪
351
00:16:58,152 --> 00:17:00,154
♪ And he's a foot away from me ♪
352
00:17:00,288 --> 00:17:02,622
♪ With swoopy hair
And shiny eyes
That I could swim in ♪
353
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,258
♪ He's live and in the room! ♪
354
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,759
[sniffs]
355
00:17:05,893 --> 00:17:08,062
[Ms. Norbury lecturing]
[exhales deeply]
356
00:17:10,865 --> 00:17:14,235
♪ And I'm stupid with love
I want to get it ♪
357
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,571
[group vocalizing]
♪ I want to get it, but how? ♪
358
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,808
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
359
00:17:20,942 --> 00:17:25,012
♪ I want to get it
I didn't get it till now ♪
360
00:17:25,146 --> 00:17:28,648
[indistinct chattering]
361
00:17:31,085 --> 00:17:32,887
[laughing]
362
00:17:33,921 --> 00:17:36,891
♪ I'm astounded and nonplussed ♪
363
00:17:37,024 --> 00:17:39,861
♪ I am filled with calcu-lust ♪
364
00:17:39,994 --> 00:17:43,231
♪ Does this guy work out?
He must ♪
365
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:46,100
♪ All sweaty at the gym ♪
366
00:17:46,234 --> 00:17:49,170
♪ Could that image
Be more hot? ♪
367
00:17:49,303 --> 00:17:52,173
♪ Let me just enjoy
That thought ♪
368
00:17:52,306 --> 00:17:55,375
♪ School was rough
But now it's not ♪
369
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,611
♪ 'Cause now there's him ♪
370
00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:00,982
♪ Stupid with love
I didn't get it ♪
371
00:18:01,115 --> 00:18:04,085
♪ I didn't get it, somehow ♪
372
00:18:04,218 --> 00:18:07,188
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
373
00:18:07,321 --> 00:18:10,657
♪ I didn't get it
I didn't get it till now ♪
374
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,592
[screams]
375
00:18:14,362 --> 00:18:16,163
[Cady panting]
376
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:18,332
I'm okay.
377
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:20,001
[panting]
378
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:27,241
Mom, you can't
pick me up like this.
379
00:18:27,375 --> 00:18:28,742
It's embarrassing.
380
00:18:31,279 --> 00:18:32,980
You can't wear a tank top
two days in a row
381
00:18:33,114 --> 00:18:36,350
and you can
only wear your hair
in a ponytail once a week.
382
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:37,852
So I guess
you've chosen today.
383
00:18:37,985 --> 00:18:41,856
Oh! And we only wear sweats
or track pants on Fridays.
384
00:18:41,989 --> 00:18:43,723
If you break any
of these rules,
385
00:18:43,858 --> 00:18:44,959
you can't sit with us.
386
00:18:45,092 --> 00:18:46,861
I mean, not just you,
like, any of us.
387
00:18:46,994 --> 00:18:48,595
Like if I wore sweatpants today,
388
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:49,931
I'd have to
go sit over there...
389
00:18:50,064 --> 00:18:51,966
...with the Art Freaks.
390
00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:54,035
[Damian chuckles]
391
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:55,870
That seems fair.
392
00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:58,505
120 calories
and 48 calories from fat.
393
00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,572
What percent is that?
394
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:02,143
Um, 48 into 120?
395
00:19:02,276 --> 00:19:04,045
There's no way of knowing.
396
00:19:04,946 --> 00:19:06,380
It's 40%.
397
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:07,815
42 over 120
398
00:19:07,949 --> 00:19:10,117
equals x over 100,
and then you cross-multiply
399
00:19:10,251 --> 00:19:11,852
to get the value of x.
400
00:19:12,386 --> 00:19:14,021
Hmm.
401
00:19:14,155 --> 00:19:16,090
Whatever.
Um, I'm getting cheese fries.
402
00:19:20,328 --> 00:19:21,963
[chuckles]
403
00:19:22,096 --> 00:19:25,099
So, have you seen any guys
you think are cute yet?
404
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:30,637
Oh, um, well, actually,
there's this one guy
in my Calculus class.
405
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:34,474
Ooh, a senior! Who is it?
Uh, Aaron Samuels.
406
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:38,112
You can't like Aaron Samuels!
That is Regina's ex-boyfriend!
No. No. Bad. Bad. Danger.
407
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,183
Wait. I thought she
dumped him for Shane Oman.
408
00:19:42,316 --> 00:19:43,483
Irregardless!
409
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:44,852
Ex-boyfriends are
off-limits for friends.
410
00:19:44,986 --> 00:19:46,887
That's just, like,
the rules of feminism!
411
00:19:51,092 --> 00:19:51,993
Don't worry.
412
00:19:52,126 --> 00:19:54,561
I will never tell Regina
what you said.
413
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,263
I am very trustworthy.
414
00:19:56,397 --> 00:19:59,100
Karen's had sex with 11 people
and I've never told anyone.
415
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,634
Yo, Golf Bird.
416
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,838
Those fractions were tight.
What?
417
00:20:03,971 --> 00:20:07,074
"Caddy Heron." "Golf Bird."
418
00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:08,843
I don't like it.
I don't get it.
419
00:20:08,976 --> 00:20:12,146
I'm Kevin Ganatra.
I'm from your Calc class.
420
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,815
I sit diagonally from you.
421
00:20:14,949 --> 00:20:16,984
I'm also captain
of the North Shore Mathletes.
422
00:20:17,118 --> 00:20:20,921
We're a very chill, dope,
extracurricular option.
423
00:20:21,055 --> 00:20:22,589
You know,
serve your college rezzy
424
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,691
and your thirst for knolly.
Don't say "knolly."
425
00:20:24,825 --> 00:20:26,827
Also Ms. Norbury says
we get twice as much funding
426
00:20:26,961 --> 00:20:29,030
if we had a girl on the team,
so think about joining,
427
00:20:29,163 --> 00:20:30,831
because we'd love
to get jackets.
428
00:20:30,965 --> 00:20:32,766
Okay, yeah, sure.
Where do I...
429
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:33,934
No, no,
you cannot join Mathletes.
430
00:20:34,068 --> 00:20:35,369
That is, like,
socially ruinous!
431
00:20:35,503 --> 00:20:38,305
Ew, no.
Why is he by our table?
432
00:20:38,439 --> 00:20:39,706
I can hear you, by the way.
433
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,375
Can you hear me now?
434
00:20:41,509 --> 00:20:43,543
[softly] Bye.
435
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:47,248
Uh, anyways,
uh, just take my card
in case you change your mind?
436
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,785
[sighs]
437
00:20:53,787 --> 00:20:56,424
God, you are so lucky
you have us to guide you.
438
00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,591
What are you doing
after school today?
439
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:00,394
I want to give you some shoes.
440
00:21:00,528 --> 00:21:02,329
[chuckles]
[school bell rings]
441
00:21:03,197 --> 00:21:04,432
What kind of shoes?
442
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,700
I have no idea. I guess, um,
something fancier than these?
443
00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:09,837
She's so rude!
444
00:21:09,970 --> 00:21:12,540
I mean, maybe
she's just being generous.
445
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:14,707
Maybe we can have
a commensal relationship.
446
00:21:14,842 --> 00:21:16,977
What is that? I want one.
447
00:21:17,111 --> 00:21:20,780
So, in nature,
okay, so lions,
448
00:21:20,915 --> 00:21:22,682
they're the apex predators,
right?
449
00:21:22,817 --> 00:21:23,818
They're the top
of the food chain.
450
00:21:23,951 --> 00:21:26,320
They can kill anything
they want.
451
00:21:26,454 --> 00:21:28,289
But if you're a hyena, well,
452
00:21:28,422 --> 00:21:31,559
then you follow them around
and you eat the carcasses
that they leave behind.
453
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:33,294
Whoa.
Gretchen Wieners is a hyena.
454
00:21:33,427 --> 00:21:34,361
Got it.
[chuckles]
455
00:21:34,495 --> 00:21:36,163
No, I did not say that.
456
00:21:36,297 --> 00:21:38,566
I'm just saying, if you're
on Regina's good side...
457
00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:39,934
Whoa, Caddy! No, no, no.
458
00:21:40,067 --> 00:21:42,103
Regina George does not have
a good side, okay?
459
00:21:42,236 --> 00:21:44,004
If you go over
to her house today...
460
00:21:44,138 --> 00:21:45,306
I am not joking,
461
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,842
be careful.
462
00:21:58,319 --> 00:22:00,221
♪ Don't be fooled by the pink ♪
463
00:22:00,354 --> 00:22:02,223
♪ She is not playing dolls ♪
464
00:22:02,356 --> 00:22:06,193
♪ She is stalking the halls
For the thrill of the kill ♪
465
00:22:06,327 --> 00:22:10,197
♪ Every person in school
Is aware of her stare ♪
466
00:22:10,331 --> 00:22:14,201
♪ When she tosses her hair
They go perfectly still ♪
467
00:22:14,335 --> 00:22:18,205
♪ All their eyes say
"Don't attack me" ♪
468
00:22:18,339 --> 00:22:22,209
♪ Watch them sweat
And pant and shake ♪
469
00:22:22,343 --> 00:22:26,713
♪ Every food chain
Has its acme ♪
470
00:22:26,847 --> 00:22:29,550
♪ Regina George eats steak ♪
471
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:34,355
♪ She's the queen of beasts
She can smell your fear ♪
472
00:22:34,488 --> 00:22:38,192
♪ In this biosphere
She's the apex predator ♪
473
00:22:38,325 --> 00:22:40,261
♪ Like a lioness ♪
474
00:22:40,394 --> 00:22:44,064
♪ Only with less fur
Do not mess with her ♪
475
00:22:44,198 --> 00:22:46,300
♪ She's the apex predator ♪
476
00:22:48,869 --> 00:22:51,704
Jason is crotch-sitting
Taylor Wedell.
477
00:22:52,506 --> 00:22:54,408
Absolutely not.
478
00:22:54,542 --> 00:22:56,143
♪ At the watering hole ♪
479
00:22:56,277 --> 00:22:58,012
♪ See the girls
Who weren't nice ♪
480
00:22:58,145 --> 00:23:00,381
♪ Have to scatter like mice ♪
[chittering]
481
00:23:00,514 --> 00:23:02,383
♪ From a jungle cat ♪
482
00:23:02,516 --> 00:23:06,120
♪ And though Janis is great
She does not have this power ♪
483
00:23:06,253 --> 00:23:08,556
♪ People literally cower ♪
[roars]
484
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:10,057
♪ Janis can't do that ♪
485
00:23:10,191 --> 00:23:14,261
♪ See her mark her territory ♪
486
00:23:14,395 --> 00:23:17,498
♪ As they follow in her train ♪
487
00:23:18,532 --> 00:23:22,570
♪ They were victims
In their stories ♪
488
00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:26,240
♪ Now they shake their mane ♪
489
00:23:26,373 --> 00:23:30,044
♪ She's the queen of beasts
And you're in her pride ♪
490
00:23:30,177 --> 00:23:32,112
♪ You have hitched a ride ♪
491
00:23:32,246 --> 00:23:34,348
♪ With the apex predator ♪
492
00:23:34,481 --> 00:23:38,352
♪ And it's kind of fun
When she bares her claws ♪
493
00:23:38,485 --> 00:23:40,187
♪ You think
You're safe because ♪
494
00:23:40,321 --> 00:23:41,989
♪ You're with
The apex predator ♪
495
00:23:42,122 --> 00:23:44,191
Do you think she'll be mad
if I like Aaron?
496
00:23:44,325 --> 00:23:46,660
Samuels? Are you unwell?
You can't like
Aaron Samuels!
497
00:23:46,793 --> 00:23:47,727
Okay, okay!
498
00:23:47,861 --> 00:23:50,064
I'll be careful. I promise.
499
00:23:52,433 --> 00:23:56,036
♪ Do not think
You'll be protected ♪
500
00:23:56,170 --> 00:23:59,940
♪ By your new exotic pet ♪
501
00:24:00,074 --> 00:24:04,245
♪ Not a chance
If she suspected ♪
502
00:24:04,378 --> 00:24:07,848
♪ You were any kind
Of reproductive threat ♪
503
00:24:07,982 --> 00:24:09,917
♪ But she doesn't know yet ♪
504
00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:12,219
♪ She doesn't know yet! ♪
505
00:24:12,353 --> 00:24:16,290
♪ She's the queen of beasts
At this beastly school ♪
506
00:24:16,423 --> 00:24:20,394
♪ Got to keep things cool
With the apex predator! ♪
507
00:24:30,271 --> 00:24:31,338
Get in, loser.
508
00:24:34,375 --> 00:24:36,477
♪ With the apex predator! ♪
509
00:24:36,610 --> 00:24:40,714
♪ Will she braid your hair?
Will she eat your heart? ♪
510
00:24:40,848 --> 00:24:44,752
♪ How can you outsmart ♪
511
00:24:44,885 --> 00:24:46,854
♪ The apex predator? ♪
512
00:24:48,989 --> 00:24:50,357
♪ The apex predator? ♪
513
00:24:50,491 --> 00:24:52,826
♪ The apex predator! ♪
514
00:24:53,594 --> 00:24:56,964
You guys! Hey...
515
00:24:57,731 --> 00:25:00,301
Happy hump day, besties!
516
00:25:00,434 --> 00:25:03,203
Hi, Mrs. George.
517
00:25:03,337 --> 00:25:04,605
This is Cady.
518
00:25:04,738 --> 00:25:06,373
I just moved here.
From Kenya.
519
00:25:06,507 --> 00:25:10,778
Welcome, Cady from Kenya.
[chuckles]
520
00:25:10,911 --> 00:25:14,882
We haven't had any new meat
in our little lady taco
in so long.
521
00:25:15,015 --> 00:25:16,083
Mom, go make snacks.
522
00:25:16,216 --> 00:25:17,951
For sure.
For sure, Regina, yeah.
523
00:25:18,085 --> 00:25:19,687
Thank you so much,
Mrs. George.
524
00:25:19,820 --> 00:25:21,488
You have a beautiful mansion.
525
00:25:21,622 --> 00:25:25,292
Just slay, queens.
Slay like no one's watching.
526
00:25:25,426 --> 00:25:28,429
But everybody's watching.
Because you're gorgeous!
527
00:25:33,367 --> 00:25:35,369
Wow, your room is really nice.
528
00:25:35,502 --> 00:25:39,306
Thanks.
It used to be my parents',
but I made them trade me.
529
00:25:47,114 --> 00:25:50,317
Cady! I made you
a Spotify playlist
530
00:25:50,451 --> 00:25:52,519
to help you catch up
on culture.
531
00:25:52,653 --> 00:25:55,956
Karen, come here.
I want to fix your eyebrows.
532
00:25:56,090 --> 00:25:57,057
Can I still have two?
533
00:25:57,191 --> 00:25:59,660
Gretchen, move.
Sorry.
534
00:25:59,793 --> 00:26:02,463
God, my hips are so wide.
535
00:26:02,596 --> 00:26:03,997
God, my pores are huge!
536
00:26:04,131 --> 00:26:06,266
I want skin like Cady's.
537
00:26:07,134 --> 00:26:09,370
My B.O. smells like crayons.
538
00:26:12,106 --> 00:26:14,843
Um, me, too! I'm ugly, too.
539
00:26:14,975 --> 00:26:17,611
Oh, my God, I love her.
She's like a Martian.
540
00:26:17,745 --> 00:26:19,546
Who's hungry?
541
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:20,914
Now, Cady,
542
00:26:21,048 --> 00:26:24,551
this is a very American snack
called guac.
543
00:26:24,685 --> 00:26:26,855
Is it okay or are you vegan?
544
00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:28,889
Oh, no, I'm an omnivore.
545
00:26:29,022 --> 00:26:30,924
Yum-yum-yum. Okay, come here!
546
00:26:31,058 --> 00:26:33,627
I need you
to tell me everything.
547
00:26:33,761 --> 00:26:36,897
Have you seen any boys
that you think are cute yet?
548
00:26:37,030 --> 00:26:40,367
Oh. Uh, well, I...
[Gretchen coughing]
549
00:26:40,501 --> 00:26:41,668
No.
550
00:26:41,803 --> 00:26:44,037
Well, don't worry.
It's just a matter of time.
551
00:26:44,171 --> 00:26:48,075
You know, I always say
that this school district
has the highest taxes,
552
00:26:48,208 --> 00:26:50,577
but the hottest boys.
That's disgusting.
553
00:26:50,711 --> 00:26:53,180
Oh, Regina!
You're never gonna believe
what I found
554
00:26:53,313 --> 00:26:54,715
in your closet this morning.
555
00:26:54,849 --> 00:26:56,183
Why were you in my closet?
556
00:26:56,316 --> 00:26:58,085
Because I'm doing
that Japanese organizing thing
557
00:26:58,218 --> 00:27:00,822
where you take a little nap
in the closet.
558
00:27:02,356 --> 00:27:05,359
I found your Burn Book!
559
00:27:05,492 --> 00:27:08,495
Cady, this is just, like,
the funniest thing
560
00:27:08,629 --> 00:27:09,663
that the girls used to do.
561
00:27:09,797 --> 00:27:11,231
Please leave.
[Mrs. George] You got it, baby.
562
00:27:11,365 --> 00:27:13,066
But, girls, I'm gonna be
right downstairs
563
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:14,768
if you need to talk to me
about anything.
564
00:27:14,903 --> 00:27:19,006
I mean it. Deep stuff
or boy troubles or blackheads
565
00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:21,275
or alcohol poisoning.
566
00:27:21,408 --> 00:27:23,610
You know, I have
been through it all.
567
00:27:23,744 --> 00:27:26,146
Honey, I am not a regular mom.
568
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,116
I'm @coolmom with six O's.
569
00:27:29,249 --> 00:27:31,251
Hashtag AgingHotly. Hashtag...
570
00:27:31,385 --> 00:27:33,287
Get out.
[Mrs. George] Okay.
571
00:27:33,420 --> 00:27:35,656
Girls, just have so much fun.
572
00:27:35,789 --> 00:27:40,461
[chuckles] Remember,
these are the best days
of your life.
573
00:27:41,395 --> 00:27:43,664
It does not get better.
574
00:27:46,066 --> 00:27:50,003
I remember this.
It was the week they took
all of our phones away.
575
00:27:52,272 --> 00:27:55,275
"Trang Pham is
a grotsky little byotch."
576
00:27:55,409 --> 00:27:56,845
Still true.
577
00:27:56,977 --> 00:27:59,881
"Dawn Schweitzer
is a horny shrimp."
578
00:28:00,013 --> 00:28:01,448
Well, she's taller now.
579
00:28:01,582 --> 00:28:05,452
Oh, my God.
"Janis 'Imi'ike, Pyro-Lez."
580
00:28:05,586 --> 00:28:06,821
I forgot about that.
581
00:28:06,955 --> 00:28:08,355
Oh, my God, she is so weird.
582
00:28:08,489 --> 00:28:10,357
She is? She's in my homeroom.
583
00:28:10,491 --> 00:28:13,393
Oh, well, watch out,
'cause she's violent.
584
00:28:13,527 --> 00:28:15,562
Yeah, people think
she's really good at art,
585
00:28:15,696 --> 00:28:17,698
but it's just 'cause
she had to do art therapy.
586
00:28:17,832 --> 00:28:20,467
Yeah, Regina tried
to be friends with her
in middle school.
587
00:28:20,601 --> 00:28:22,102
Oh, my God,
she was obsessed with me.
588
00:28:22,236 --> 00:28:24,638
And then when I got
my first boyfriend, Kyle,
589
00:28:24,771 --> 00:28:26,773
she lit my backpack on fire.
590
00:28:28,242 --> 00:28:29,443
[Karen] Who's that?
591
00:28:29,576 --> 00:28:31,745
Mmm...
That's that kid Damian.
592
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,515
Oh, yeah, he's almost too gay
to function.
593
00:28:34,648 --> 00:28:35,884
[laughing]
594
00:28:36,016 --> 00:28:38,051
No, I didn't... I didn't
mean that in a bad way.
595
00:28:38,185 --> 00:28:40,354
No, that's funny.
Put that in there.
596
00:28:40,487 --> 00:28:41,555
Um...
597
00:28:42,523 --> 00:28:44,124
No, I don't...
Oh! No, no.
598
00:28:44,258 --> 00:28:46,426
Don't worry, Cady,
we only write stuff
about randos in here.
599
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,831
Friends are, like,
very deserving of respect.
600
00:28:49,964 --> 00:28:52,533
Gretchen... she gets it.
601
00:28:53,100 --> 00:28:54,368
Go find the shoes.
602
00:28:55,003 --> 00:28:56,136
[chuckles]
603
00:28:56,270 --> 00:28:58,405
The shoes we're giving
to Cady.
604
00:28:58,539 --> 00:29:02,242
Oh, my God, you are literally
being so annoying.
605
00:29:03,845 --> 00:29:04,745
Sorry.
606
00:29:14,354 --> 00:29:15,656
Are you okay?
607
00:29:15,789 --> 00:29:17,724
No... uh, totally.
608
00:29:17,859 --> 00:29:19,459
Regina's just joking.
609
00:29:19,593 --> 00:29:21,595
These are cute. Try 'em.
610
00:29:23,597 --> 00:29:26,099
Once I processed that Regina's
love language is anger,
611
00:29:26,233 --> 00:29:27,501
it's been much...
612
00:29:28,803 --> 00:29:30,838
Aw.
613
00:29:30,972 --> 00:29:34,241
It's the music box
I gave Regina
that my abuelito gave me.
614
00:29:43,650 --> 00:29:46,286
♪ Tell me
What's wrong with me ♪
615
00:29:46,420 --> 00:29:49,256
♪ My body, face, my hair ♪
616
00:29:50,090 --> 00:29:53,560
♪ Tell me all my many faults ♪
617
00:29:53,694 --> 00:29:55,462
♪ Tell me like you care ♪
618
00:29:55,596 --> 00:29:58,732
♪ When we both
Know you're cruel ♪
619
00:29:58,866 --> 00:30:02,202
♪ And we both know
You're right ♪
620
00:30:02,336 --> 00:30:05,405
♪ I could listen to you ♪
621
00:30:05,539 --> 00:30:08,508
♪ Like a fool all night ♪
622
00:30:08,642 --> 00:30:11,578
♪ What's wrong with me? ♪
623
00:30:11,712 --> 00:30:14,615
♪ How I speak?
How I dress? ♪
624
00:30:14,748 --> 00:30:18,251
♪ What's wrong with me? ♪
625
00:30:18,385 --> 00:30:21,722
♪ You keep me guessing ♪
626
00:30:21,856 --> 00:30:27,028
♪ Mama called me "beautiful"
Don't believe her anymore ♪
627
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:30,464
♪ Now I'm listening to you ♪
628
00:30:30,597 --> 00:30:33,734
♪ What do I do that for? ♪
629
00:30:33,868 --> 00:30:40,173
♪ Please don't ignore me ♪
630
00:30:45,145 --> 00:30:46,213
[Regina] Gretchen!
631
00:30:46,346 --> 00:30:47,915
What are you doing in there?
632
00:30:48,049 --> 00:30:49,349
I'm... I'm gonna go.
633
00:30:49,483 --> 00:30:51,819
Yep. Be right there!
634
00:30:53,855 --> 00:30:56,523
[cranking music box]
[gentle music resumes]
635
00:30:56,657 --> 00:30:58,725
♪ What's wrong with me?
What can I do? ♪
636
00:30:58,860 --> 00:31:01,528
♪ What's wrong with me?
Could it be you? ♪
637
00:31:01,662 --> 00:31:03,196
♪ It's probably me ♪
638
00:31:03,330 --> 00:31:06,067
♪ See that? You see? ♪
639
00:31:06,199 --> 00:31:09,202
♪ What's wrong with me? ♪
640
00:31:09,336 --> 00:31:11,806
[humming]
641
00:31:22,549 --> 00:31:24,886
They have this book,
this "Burn Book,"
642
00:31:25,019 --> 00:31:27,187
where they write mean things
about girls in our grade.
643
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,623
Ooh, ooh! What does
it say about me?
644
00:31:30,290 --> 00:31:32,559
Um... you're not in it.
645
00:31:32,994 --> 00:31:34,227
Those bitches!
646
00:31:34,361 --> 00:31:35,897
What is this, by the way?
It's terrible.
647
00:31:36,030 --> 00:31:37,464
Oh, it's a Kälteen bar.
648
00:31:37,597 --> 00:31:39,633
Here, my mom used to give them
to elderly people in Kapedo
649
00:31:39,766 --> 00:31:42,070
to help them
gain weight.
Mmm.
650
00:31:42,202 --> 00:31:43,737
I can feel it working.
651
00:31:43,871 --> 00:31:46,306
We should, like, crush this up
and put it in Regina's food!
652
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:47,909
[Cady] What?
Oh.
653
00:31:48,042 --> 00:31:49,342
No. No, no.
654
00:31:49,476 --> 00:31:51,244
I will keep having
lunch with them, that's it.
655
00:31:51,378 --> 00:31:54,381
Also, we feel bad
we yelled at you
656
00:31:54,514 --> 00:31:56,150
about liking Aaron.
[groans]
657
00:31:56,283 --> 00:31:58,418
You should go
for what you want.
658
00:31:58,552 --> 00:32:00,687
Hetero allyship.
Oh, okay.
659
00:32:00,822 --> 00:32:03,523
It's so dumb. I only
ever see him in Calc anyway.
660
00:32:03,657 --> 00:32:07,294
Oh. You're definitely
safe in Calc.
661
00:32:07,427 --> 00:32:09,496
Regina will never set foot
in there.
662
00:32:22,676 --> 00:32:24,846
New shoes?
Uh, yeah.
663
00:32:24,979 --> 00:32:26,413
Regina gave them to me.
664
00:32:26,546 --> 00:32:28,950
Huh. I didn't know
you guys were friends.
665
00:32:29,083 --> 00:32:31,018
Okay, let's get back into it.
666
00:32:31,152 --> 00:32:32,586
Continuity.
Removable discont...
667
00:32:32,719 --> 00:32:34,354
Cady? Eyes up front, please.
668
00:32:35,455 --> 00:32:37,557
Let's get back
into where we were Thursday.
669
00:32:37,691 --> 00:32:39,927
Who was awake Thursday?
Who was still awake?
670
00:32:41,495 --> 00:32:43,263
I like your jacket.
671
00:32:43,396 --> 00:32:44,564
Thanks, I made it.
672
00:32:44,698 --> 00:32:46,466
But why do you sew
on top of your drawings?
673
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,369
It's... like the drawings
are facts
674
00:32:49,503 --> 00:32:50,905
and the threads are feelings.
675
00:32:51,038 --> 00:32:53,340
It's so cool. [chuckles]
676
00:32:55,609 --> 00:32:58,311
So, you talk to your man yet?
677
00:32:58,445 --> 00:32:59,947
[chuckles]
678
00:33:00,081 --> 00:33:01,883
I mean, I don't even
know what to say to him.
679
00:33:02,016 --> 00:33:05,186
I always come off sounding
like a lunatic.
680
00:33:05,318 --> 00:33:07,454
Do you like gum?
Sure.
681
00:33:08,488 --> 00:33:10,958
Oh, I don't have any.
I was just...
682
00:33:15,796 --> 00:33:19,599
What?
Why did you say that?
683
00:33:19,733 --> 00:33:23,403
Maybe just try to have
one successful interaction
per day?
684
00:33:26,207 --> 00:33:28,142
I like your shirt.
Thanks.
685
00:33:28,276 --> 00:33:30,845
It smells like sausage
from the last time I wore it.
686
00:33:32,180 --> 00:33:33,413
[both chuckle]
687
00:33:34,248 --> 00:33:35,817
Dear God, woman.
688
00:33:35,950 --> 00:33:39,619
Have you successfully been
a functioning human being
even once?
689
00:33:41,022 --> 00:33:44,524
On October 3rd,
he asked me what day it was.
690
00:33:44,658 --> 00:33:47,295
What day is it?
It's October 3rd.
691
00:33:47,427 --> 00:33:51,331
♪ October 3rd ♪
692
00:33:51,464 --> 00:33:53,366
That was two weeks ago.
693
00:33:54,467 --> 00:33:55,769
But today I kind of...
694
00:33:55,903 --> 00:33:57,238
I don't know,
I tried something
695
00:33:57,370 --> 00:34:00,440
and it just came to me
instinctively.
696
00:34:02,109 --> 00:34:03,410
I said I was lost.
697
00:34:03,543 --> 00:34:06,446
I'm totally lost.
Can you help me?
698
00:34:07,248 --> 00:34:08,548
But I wasn't lost.
699
00:34:08,682 --> 00:34:10,151
I knew exactly what
Ms. Norbury was talking about.
700
00:34:10,284 --> 00:34:13,855
It's the derivative
of the natural log function.
701
00:34:13,988 --> 00:34:16,924
You just take the reciprocal
of the ln.
702
00:34:18,491 --> 00:34:19,593
Thanks.
703
00:34:20,594 --> 00:34:22,830
You're so smart.
[chuckles]
704
00:34:24,932 --> 00:34:25,933
He was wrong.
705
00:34:26,067 --> 00:34:27,500
Wait, wait. Hold up.
706
00:34:27,634 --> 00:34:29,469
Guys, pause!
Oh.
707
00:34:29,603 --> 00:34:30,838
[music stops]
708
00:34:32,405 --> 00:34:33,941
You pretended to be dumb
709
00:34:34,075 --> 00:34:36,576
so you could keep talking
to a guy?
710
00:34:36,710 --> 00:34:39,479
Uh... Yeah. It worked.
711
00:34:39,613 --> 00:34:41,349
'Cause that shit
always works, Caddy.
712
00:34:41,481 --> 00:34:42,850
It doesn't mean
that it's not evil.
713
00:34:42,984 --> 00:34:46,120
Fracking "works."
Red-lining "works."
714
00:34:46,254 --> 00:34:47,922
Gasoline and rags...
715
00:34:48,055 --> 00:34:50,457
Aren't you worried
Regina will eat your face
if she finds out?
716
00:34:50,590 --> 00:34:52,093
No, she won't find out.
717
00:34:52,226 --> 00:34:55,795
It's just my little
Calculus class secret.
718
00:34:55,930 --> 00:34:58,299
Oh, um...
719
00:34:58,431 --> 00:35:01,235
So its h prime of x
equals five.
720
00:35:01,369 --> 00:35:03,204
You just forgot
the Product Rule.
721
00:35:03,337 --> 00:35:05,106
I don't get any of this.
722
00:35:06,573 --> 00:35:07,540
Nice job, Cady.
723
00:35:07,674 --> 00:35:09,743
It sure seems like you get it.
724
00:35:15,116 --> 00:35:19,786
Hey, my friend Chris is, uh,
having a Halloween party.
725
00:35:19,921 --> 00:35:21,355
Would you want
to come to that?
726
00:35:21,521 --> 00:35:24,091
It's like a costume party.
People get pretty into it.
727
00:35:24,225 --> 00:35:25,692
Grool.
728
00:35:25,826 --> 00:35:28,829
I meant to say "great," and
then I started to say "cool."
729
00:35:28,963 --> 00:35:30,097
Okay.
730
00:35:30,865 --> 00:35:32,033
Grool.
731
00:35:35,870 --> 00:35:37,004
[dings]
732
00:35:37,537 --> 00:35:38,705
Hi.
733
00:35:38,839 --> 00:35:40,341
♪ If I could change the world ♪
734
00:35:40,473 --> 00:35:44,711
♪ I'd make it Halloween ♪
735
00:35:45,578 --> 00:35:48,416
♪ Every single day ♪
736
00:35:48,548 --> 00:35:51,819
♪ And also have world peace ♪
737
00:35:51,953 --> 00:35:54,922
♪ Maybe world peace
Should be first ♪
738
00:35:55,056 --> 00:35:57,657
♪ World peace
And then Halloween ♪
739
00:35:57,791 --> 00:35:59,526
Wait, let me start over.
740
00:36:01,561 --> 00:36:02,363
[pings]
741
00:36:02,495 --> 00:36:03,630
Hi.
742
00:36:03,763 --> 00:36:04,966
♪ If I could change the world ♪
743
00:36:05,099 --> 00:36:09,536
♪ I'd make us have world peace ♪
744
00:36:09,669 --> 00:36:13,473
♪ And also Halloween ♪
745
00:36:13,606 --> 00:36:15,843
♪ Every single day ♪
746
00:36:15,977 --> 00:36:17,345
♪ On Halloween ♪
747
00:36:17,477 --> 00:36:21,581
♪ You can pretend
To be someone else ♪
748
00:36:21,715 --> 00:36:24,185
♪ It's like the Internet ♪
749
00:36:24,318 --> 00:36:30,391
♪ Only in person
And with candy ♪
750
00:36:30,523 --> 00:36:33,461
Wait. Mama,
use the back camera.
751
00:36:33,593 --> 00:36:36,897
It's prettier 'cause science.
752
00:36:37,031 --> 00:36:38,765
♪ When you are
The hot one ♪
753
00:36:38,899 --> 00:36:40,401
♪ It's a full-time gig ♪
754
00:36:40,533 --> 00:36:43,471
♪ Lookin' like what people
Want to see ♪
755
00:36:43,603 --> 00:36:47,308
♪ Once a year I'm not
I dress up and dream big ♪
756
00:36:47,441 --> 00:36:49,676
♪ Disguised as someone else
Who is not me ♪
757
00:36:49,810 --> 00:36:51,379
♪ But is still hot! ♪
758
00:36:51,511 --> 00:36:52,612
♪ I can be ♪
759
00:36:52,746 --> 00:36:55,082
♪ Who I want to be and sexy! ♪
760
00:36:55,216 --> 00:36:58,386
♪ I can be
Who I want to be and hot! ♪
761
00:36:58,518 --> 00:37:02,189
♪ Don't like who you are
Then hit that costume shop ♪
762
00:37:02,323 --> 00:37:05,993
♪ Rock a new
And different sexy look ♪
763
00:37:06,127 --> 00:37:09,230
♪ Why be so downhearted?
Blast some trashy pop ♪
764
00:37:09,363 --> 00:37:12,665
♪ And drop it to this hot
And sexy hook ♪
765
00:37:12,799 --> 00:37:16,837
♪ I can be
Who I want to be and sexy! ♪
766
00:37:16,971 --> 00:37:20,508
♪ I can be
Who I want to be and hot! ♪
767
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,610
♪ Be somebody new ♪
768
00:37:23,743 --> 00:37:27,747
♪ Do a total transformation ♪
769
00:37:27,882 --> 00:37:31,318
♪ Animal or mineral, too ♪
770
00:37:31,452 --> 00:37:35,389
♪ Or even vegetation! ♪
771
00:37:35,523 --> 00:37:36,991
I give you sexy corn.
772
00:37:37,124 --> 00:37:40,428
♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
773
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,197
♪ And sexy! ♪
774
00:37:43,330 --> 00:37:46,033
[upbeat dance music
playing over speakers]
775
00:37:49,036 --> 00:37:51,238
[music stops]
776
00:37:54,108 --> 00:37:55,742
Why are you dressed so scary?
777
00:37:55,876 --> 00:37:57,044
It's Halloween.
778
00:37:57,178 --> 00:37:58,745
Cady,
if you don't dress slutty,
779
00:37:58,879 --> 00:38:00,815
that is slut-shaming us.
780
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,390
Um, it's just,
like, traditionally,
781
00:38:09,523 --> 00:38:10,991
girls had to be witches
or clowns
782
00:38:11,125 --> 00:38:14,195
and we've worked really hard
to progress past that.
783
00:38:14,328 --> 00:38:16,163
That makes sense.
784
00:38:18,532 --> 00:38:20,468
I'm gonna go find Aaron.
785
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:21,836
Okay.
786
00:38:22,570 --> 00:38:23,838
[mouths]
787
00:38:23,971 --> 00:38:26,606
♪ A sexy Quint
From sexy Jaws ♪
788
00:38:26,739 --> 00:38:28,175
♪ Catching sexy sharks ♪
789
00:38:28,309 --> 00:38:31,644
♪ Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt
Or sexy Joan of Arc ♪
790
00:38:31,778 --> 00:38:35,449
♪ I can be a sexy pirate
Or a sexy ballet dancer ♪
791
00:38:35,583 --> 00:38:40,521
♪ I can be a sexy doctor
And cure some sexy cancer! ♪
792
00:38:40,653 --> 00:38:42,857
That's not right,
is it?
No.
793
00:38:43,723 --> 00:38:45,526
I can sexy cure some cancer?
794
00:38:45,658 --> 00:38:47,128
No.
795
00:38:47,261 --> 00:38:49,029
I can cure sex cancer!
796
00:38:49,163 --> 00:38:51,298
Sex cancer doesn't exist.
797
00:38:51,432 --> 00:38:53,534
[gasps] I did it.
798
00:38:53,666 --> 00:38:54,535
Dance break.
799
00:38:56,703 --> 00:38:58,072
[vocalizing]
800
00:39:06,746 --> 00:39:08,748
♪ Happy Halloween! ♪
801
00:39:12,019 --> 00:39:15,623
♪ This is
Modern feminism talkin' ♪
802
00:39:15,788 --> 00:39:19,493
♪ Watch me as I run the world
In shoes I cannot walk in ♪
803
00:39:19,627 --> 00:39:22,830
♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
804
00:39:22,963 --> 00:39:26,534
♪ And sex... sex ♪
805
00:39:26,666 --> 00:39:30,938
♪ Sexy! ♪
806
00:39:32,106 --> 00:39:34,875
I'm a sexy mouse. Duh!
807
00:39:35,009 --> 00:39:36,776
[electronic music
playing over speakers]
808
00:39:38,612 --> 00:39:40,080
Hey.
Hi.
809
00:39:40,214 --> 00:39:41,348
Cady!
810
00:39:41,482 --> 00:39:42,883
Hi!
811
00:39:43,017 --> 00:39:45,152
[Karen] Ow.
Hey. [screams playfully]
812
00:39:45,286 --> 00:39:46,921
[chuckles]
I like your costume.
813
00:39:47,054 --> 00:39:48,856
Different
from everyone else's.
814
00:39:48,989 --> 00:39:51,724
I didn't know
I was supposed to...
815
00:39:51,859 --> 00:39:52,893
[both chuckle]
816
00:39:53,027 --> 00:39:54,662
I'm such a weird
foreign loser.
817
00:39:54,794 --> 00:39:56,463
No. It's great.
818
00:39:57,697 --> 00:39:58,798
You want a drink?
819
00:39:58,933 --> 00:40:01,168
Thanks.
Uh, do they have juice?
820
00:40:02,536 --> 00:40:04,371
I can check. Wait here.
821
00:40:06,907 --> 00:40:09,776
I think you and Aaron
would be a really cute couple.
822
00:40:09,910 --> 00:40:11,045
Really?
Yeah.
823
00:40:11,178 --> 00:40:12,479
I just said so.
Don't be thirsty.
824
00:40:12,613 --> 00:40:15,849
You know, I could talk
to him for you. If you want.
825
00:40:15,983 --> 00:40:18,085
See if he likes you back.
826
00:40:18,219 --> 00:40:20,354
You would do that for me?
Mm-hmm.
827
00:40:20,487 --> 00:40:23,324
Trust me. I know exactly
how to play it.
828
00:40:26,894 --> 00:40:29,196
I need to talk to you.
Me?
829
00:40:29,330 --> 00:40:31,031
I thought you were done
talking to me
830
00:40:31,165 --> 00:40:32,633
when you started talking
to Shane last summer.
831
00:40:32,765 --> 00:40:36,403
Shut up. 'Cause you know
that homeschooled girl, Cady?
832
00:40:37,504 --> 00:40:39,106
Yeah, I invited her tonight.
833
00:40:40,174 --> 00:40:41,809
Yeah, well, be careful.
834
00:40:41,942 --> 00:40:43,611
'Cause she has
a huge crush on you.
835
00:40:43,743 --> 00:40:46,447
[laughs]
Really?
836
00:40:46,580 --> 00:40:48,215
Don't be gross.
837
00:40:48,748 --> 00:40:50,317
She's my friend and...
838
00:40:50,451 --> 00:40:54,421
...she's, like, really
inexperienced and, um...
839
00:40:59,994 --> 00:41:02,196
Wow, sorry.
840
00:41:02,329 --> 00:41:04,465
I didn't think this
would be so hard for me.
841
00:41:04,598 --> 00:41:05,666
What?
842
00:41:05,798 --> 00:41:07,101
I don't know,
I guess I just...
843
00:41:07,234 --> 00:41:10,471
just have, like, a lot
of, like, unresolved trauma
844
00:41:10,604 --> 00:41:12,273
from how things ended with us.
845
00:41:12,406 --> 00:41:13,974
Give me a break.
846
00:41:15,342 --> 00:41:16,377
[scoffs]
847
00:41:17,678 --> 00:41:18,912
Regina.
848
00:41:20,848 --> 00:41:22,583
Regina.
Leave me alone.
849
00:41:22,716 --> 00:41:24,518
G, why are you upset?
850
00:41:24,652 --> 00:41:25,719
Please.
851
00:41:25,853 --> 00:41:28,889
What do you mean,
please? G!
852
00:41:41,468 --> 00:41:44,371
♪ Yes, I look perfect ♪
853
00:41:44,505 --> 00:41:46,940
♪ Ice Queen
That's what you see ♪
854
00:41:47,074 --> 00:41:50,277
♪ It's what they all expect
From me ♪
855
00:41:50,411 --> 00:41:53,213
♪ But it's all show ♪
856
00:41:53,347 --> 00:41:56,083
♪ Face it, you used me ♪
857
00:41:56,216 --> 00:41:58,952
♪ You saw the sexy clothes ♪
858
00:41:59,086 --> 00:42:02,856
♪ My supermodel pose ♪
859
00:42:02,990 --> 00:42:05,059
♪ What did you know? ♪
860
00:42:05,192 --> 00:42:08,195
♪ Was I a game to you? ♪
861
00:42:08,329 --> 00:42:11,065
♪ Was I a way to be cool? ♪
862
00:42:11,198 --> 00:42:14,501
♪ I truly cared ♪
863
00:42:14,635 --> 00:42:17,171
♪ Was I the fool? ♪
864
00:42:17,304 --> 00:42:19,840
♪ It's fine for you ♪
865
00:42:19,973 --> 00:42:23,010
♪ It's fine to flirt ♪
866
00:42:23,143 --> 00:42:28,015
♪ It's fine ♪
867
00:42:28,148 --> 00:42:29,683
♪ Till someone gets hurt ♪
868
00:42:29,818 --> 00:42:31,985
[rustling]
869
00:42:35,489 --> 00:42:37,958
♪ Feel my heart beating? ♪
870
00:42:38,092 --> 00:42:41,061
♪ I'm just like her or you ♪
871
00:42:41,195 --> 00:42:44,198
♪ People forget I'm human, too ♪
872
00:42:44,331 --> 00:42:46,633
♪ Yes, they do that ♪
873
00:42:47,868 --> 00:42:50,371
♪ This is performance ♪
874
00:42:50,504 --> 00:42:53,440
♪ This is all self-defense ♪
875
00:42:53,574 --> 00:42:56,744
♪ I thought you had the sense ♪
876
00:42:56,877 --> 00:42:59,179
♪ To see through that ♪
877
00:42:59,313 --> 00:43:02,116
♪ Was I too proud with you? ♪
878
00:43:02,249 --> 00:43:05,419
♪ Was I too cold
And forbidding? ♪
879
00:43:05,552 --> 00:43:08,789
♪ You chose her over me
Well ♪
880
00:43:08,956 --> 00:43:11,191
♪ Are you kidding? ♪
881
00:43:11,325 --> 00:43:13,862
♪ It's fine for you ♪
882
00:43:13,994 --> 00:43:16,463
♪ It's fine to flirt ♪
883
00:43:17,164 --> 00:43:21,935
♪ It's fine ♪
884
00:43:22,069 --> 00:43:23,971
♪ Till someone gets hurt ♪
885
00:43:28,242 --> 00:43:33,647
♪ Till someone gets hurt! ♪
886
00:43:35,349 --> 00:43:36,784
♪ Poor little me ♪
887
00:43:36,917 --> 00:43:40,988
♪ I'm trapped
In this fabulous show ♪
888
00:43:41,121 --> 00:43:43,892
♪ You could set me free ♪
889
00:43:44,024 --> 00:43:49,029
♪ But if you're going, go ♪
890
00:43:51,231 --> 00:43:54,201
♪ It's fine for you ♪
891
00:43:54,334 --> 00:43:57,037
♪ It's fine to flirt ♪
892
00:43:57,171 --> 00:44:00,240
♪ And, God, you're hot! ♪
893
00:44:00,374 --> 00:44:03,210
♪ Why do you even
Wear a shirt? ♪
894
00:44:03,343 --> 00:44:07,247
♪ No, it's fine ♪
895
00:44:07,381 --> 00:44:09,349
♪ Damn, you're fine! ♪
896
00:44:09,483 --> 00:44:14,755
♪ And it's fine ♪
897
00:44:14,889 --> 00:44:16,023
♪ Till someone gets... ♪
898
00:44:16,156 --> 00:44:19,193
[gasps]
[intense outro music playing]
899
00:44:30,137 --> 00:44:32,573
[suspenseful music
playing over TV]
900
00:44:42,149 --> 00:44:43,383
[screams]
901
00:44:44,485 --> 00:44:47,889
She took him back.
She took Aaron back.
902
00:44:48,021 --> 00:44:49,656
Of course she did.
903
00:44:49,790 --> 00:44:52,493
It's because Regina's
a life ruiner!
904
00:44:52,626 --> 00:44:54,161
When we were in sixth grade,
she told everybody
905
00:44:54,294 --> 00:44:55,629
that Janis was...
Damian!
906
00:44:55,762 --> 00:44:57,899
Okay. She does not need
to hear that right now.
907
00:44:58,031 --> 00:45:00,067
No, I know the story.
908
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,804
You lit a fire 'cause Regina
got a boyfriend.
909
00:45:02,937 --> 00:45:04,471
[Damian] She said what?
910
00:45:04,605 --> 00:45:05,572
Oh, hell no.
911
00:45:05,706 --> 00:45:09,142
Damian...
No! The truth
will be told.
912
00:45:09,276 --> 00:45:10,644
Stay with me, Cady.
913
00:45:14,849 --> 00:45:18,585
Like all history,
this is emotionally layered
and culturally dense.
914
00:45:22,256 --> 00:45:24,458
Janis and Regina were
best friends in middle school.
915
00:45:24,591 --> 00:45:29,029
And at that time, females
expressed their identities
through collectible plushies.
916
00:45:29,162 --> 00:45:30,631
I don't know what those...
917
00:45:30,764 --> 00:45:35,068
It's these bastards.
And they were everywhere.
918
00:45:35,202 --> 00:45:38,539
Regina gave Janis a BFF set
for her birthday.
919
00:45:38,672 --> 00:45:40,942
Janis put a rainbow patch
on hers.
920
00:45:41,074 --> 00:45:42,810
This is how she came out
to her friend.
921
00:45:42,944 --> 00:45:44,177
And Regina put one
on hers, too,
922
00:45:44,311 --> 00:45:46,814
out of allyship because
she used to be human.
923
00:45:46,948 --> 00:45:51,986
Cut to eight months later,
Regina becomes obsessed
with this gross boy. Kyle!
924
00:45:52,119 --> 00:45:54,621
Your scale is
completely off.
Hush!
925
00:45:56,423 --> 00:45:58,492
One night, they were
all playing spin the bottle...
926
00:45:58,625 --> 00:46:01,495
And Regina was worried
that Kyle liked Karen more.
927
00:46:01,628 --> 00:46:05,299
So when she spun
and got Janis,
928
00:46:05,967 --> 00:46:07,601
Regina put on a little show.
929
00:46:10,070 --> 00:46:10,939
[dolls gasp]
930
00:46:11,071 --> 00:46:12,339
And Kyle was like "boing"!
931
00:46:12,472 --> 00:46:13,674
And Regina was like...
932
00:46:13,808 --> 00:46:15,208
..."I knew she would let me!
933
00:46:15,342 --> 00:46:17,812
She's, like,
obsessed with me!"
934
00:46:17,946 --> 00:46:19,146
Not okay.
935
00:46:19,279 --> 00:46:21,114
Please put this all back
in its box.
936
00:46:21,248 --> 00:46:22,984
They got into a huge fight.
937
00:46:23,116 --> 00:46:24,953
Regina started avoiding Janis
at school,
938
00:46:25,085 --> 00:46:26,854
but did she give back
that plush animal?
939
00:46:26,988 --> 00:46:29,556
Oh, no.
She took it everywhere.
940
00:46:29,690 --> 00:46:32,426
She named her "Sissy Liz"
and she made everyone say
941
00:46:32,559 --> 00:46:33,928
"good morning" to it
every day,
942
00:46:34,062 --> 00:46:35,228
and it was very weird
and boring.
943
00:46:35,362 --> 00:46:36,463
Fast forward.
944
00:46:36,597 --> 00:46:38,398
One day in Science,
945
00:46:38,532 --> 00:46:41,168
Regina was making everyone
say hi to Sissy Liz.
946
00:46:41,301 --> 00:46:43,170
And Janis finally heard it.
947
00:46:43,303 --> 00:46:45,639
"Sissy Liz" was short
for "Obsessed Lesbian."
948
00:46:45,772 --> 00:46:48,943
Regina had been making fun
of Janis this entire time
949
00:46:49,077 --> 00:46:50,510
and everyone but her knew it.
950
00:46:51,345 --> 00:46:53,647
So, and this is regrettable...
951
00:46:55,984 --> 00:46:57,484
Janis took
her Bunsen burner...
952
00:46:59,219 --> 00:47:01,622
and torched the doll.
953
00:47:01,755 --> 00:47:03,891
And Regina's backpack
caught on fire a little bit
954
00:47:04,025 --> 00:47:07,227
and Janis was kicked
out of school
for the remainder of the year.
955
00:47:07,361 --> 00:47:09,831
And the adults
didn't know why.
956
00:47:09,964 --> 00:47:12,432
Janis just seemed crazy.
957
00:47:14,534 --> 00:47:16,670
I'm really sorry
that happened.
958
00:47:18,438 --> 00:47:20,307
It's worse than my thing.
959
00:47:21,508 --> 00:47:23,143
Caddy, don't be sorry.
960
00:47:23,276 --> 00:47:26,647
Now you know Regina George
is not your friend.
961
00:47:26,780 --> 00:47:28,281
We are your friends.
962
00:47:28,415 --> 00:47:30,217
And we're gonna
make her pay.
963
00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:34,989
♪ You know what friends do? ♪
964
00:47:35,123 --> 00:47:36,824
♪ They got your back ♪
965
00:47:36,958 --> 00:47:39,726
♪ And they are fun
To be around ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
966
00:47:39,861 --> 00:47:41,896
♪ When someone hurts you
Then they attack ♪
967
00:47:42,030 --> 00:47:44,531
♪ And grind your foe
Into the ground! ♪
968
00:47:44,665 --> 00:47:46,233
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
969
00:47:46,366 --> 00:47:48,870
♪ Imagine a party
With dresses and cake ♪
970
00:47:49,003 --> 00:47:51,839
♪ And singing and dancing
And cake ♪
971
00:47:51,973 --> 00:47:55,143
♪ And there's a magic act
That saws Regina in half ♪
972
00:47:55,275 --> 00:47:58,645
♪ And this time
It'll take ♪
[screaming]
973
00:47:58,779 --> 00:48:03,017
Now that's a party!
♪ It's a revenge party
A party that ends ♪
974
00:48:03,151 --> 00:48:05,218
♪ With somebody's head
On a spike ♪
975
00:48:05,352 --> 00:48:09,189
♪ It's a revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
976
00:48:09,322 --> 00:48:12,492
♪ It's like a party
With revenge
Is what it's like ♪
977
00:48:13,694 --> 00:48:15,129
Caddy, in order
for this to work,
978
00:48:15,262 --> 00:48:16,797
you need to act
like a huge phony.
979
00:48:16,931 --> 00:48:18,198
Can you do it?
980
00:48:18,331 --> 00:48:19,533
I... I think so.
981
00:48:19,666 --> 00:48:21,035
Practice.
982
00:48:21,169 --> 00:48:24,072
Regina wanted me to tell you
that she tried
to talk to Aaron,
983
00:48:24,204 --> 00:48:27,441
but he just wanted her back,
and that's not Regina's fault.
984
00:48:27,574 --> 00:48:29,543
Of course. Oh, my gosh.
985
00:48:30,243 --> 00:48:31,511
Love ya. See you at lunch.
986
00:48:31,645 --> 00:48:34,448
Perfect!
On to phase two.
987
00:48:34,581 --> 00:48:36,550
♪ I'll bring
The glow sticks ♪
988
00:48:36,683 --> 00:48:39,954
♪ I'll bring balloons
And we'll have
Chocolate ice cream cones ♪
989
00:48:40,088 --> 00:48:41,555
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
990
00:48:41,688 --> 00:48:43,991
♪ I'll be the DJ
Spinnin' the tunes ♪
991
00:48:44,125 --> 00:48:47,028
♪ On a turntable made
Of her bones ♪
992
00:48:47,161 --> 00:48:50,464
♪ We'll get a piñata
'Cause that would be fun ♪
993
00:48:50,597 --> 00:48:51,899
♪ And play dress up
And Barbies ♪
994
00:48:52,033 --> 00:48:53,633
♪ And tag ♪
[chainsaw whirring]
995
00:48:53,767 --> 00:48:55,169
♪ And we'll roll on the grass ♪
996
00:48:55,302 --> 00:48:56,838
♪ And stare up at the sun ♪
997
00:48:56,971 --> 00:48:59,740
♪ Then we'll stuff her remains
In a bag ♪
998
00:48:59,874 --> 00:49:01,575
♪ And throw 'em in the river! ♪
999
00:49:01,708 --> 00:49:04,812
♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪
1000
00:49:04,946 --> 00:49:07,380
♪ With entrails
All over the lawn ♪
1001
00:49:07,514 --> 00:49:10,784
♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
1002
00:49:10,918 --> 00:49:13,420
♪ And I end up with Aaron
When she's gone ♪
1003
00:49:13,553 --> 00:49:15,890
♪ Yes, bitch! ♪
1004
00:49:17,357 --> 00:49:19,861
I end up with Aaron
when she's gone.
1005
00:49:20,327 --> 00:49:21,795
Yes, bitch.
1006
00:49:26,433 --> 00:49:27,567
[gasps]
1007
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:32,439
I think I need a tutor.
1008
00:49:32,572 --> 00:49:34,976
I could tutor you,
if you want.
1009
00:49:36,376 --> 00:49:38,311
♪ What's Regina doin'? ♪
1010
00:49:38,445 --> 00:49:39,646
♪ What's Regina wearin'? ♪
1011
00:49:39,780 --> 00:49:41,615
♪ Is she back with Aaron? ♪
1012
00:49:41,748 --> 00:49:45,953
♪ Regina! Regina!
She has everything
She gets everything ♪
1013
00:49:47,454 --> 00:49:49,489
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1014
00:49:50,323 --> 00:49:51,358
[Gretchen]
What is that?
1015
00:49:51,491 --> 00:49:53,094
Ugh, I'm so fat
and disgusting.
1016
00:49:53,227 --> 00:49:54,361
I'm not having anything
1017
00:49:54,494 --> 00:49:56,197
but Kälteen bars
until I lose weight.
1018
00:49:56,329 --> 00:49:57,664
Well, I need
to lose three pounds.
1019
00:49:57,798 --> 00:49:59,000
How many calories from fat?
1020
00:49:59,133 --> 00:50:00,201
Zero.
1021
00:50:00,333 --> 00:50:01,869
You cross-multiply x
over a thousand
1022
00:50:02,003 --> 00:50:03,737
and divide it by 0.5
because it's in kilograms.
1023
00:50:03,871 --> 00:50:06,406
Whatever.
Bring me a whole box.
1024
00:50:06,540 --> 00:50:08,843
No, um, bring me two.
1025
00:50:15,682 --> 00:50:18,585
♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪
1026
00:50:18,718 --> 00:50:21,621
♪ With somebody crushed
And alone ♪
♪ And ugly-crying! ♪
1027
00:50:21,755 --> 00:50:24,624
♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
1028
00:50:24,758 --> 00:50:27,394
♪ It's like a party
With revenge
Is what we're throwin'! ♪
1029
00:50:27,527 --> 00:50:29,130
[screams]
1030
00:50:29,263 --> 00:50:30,564
[marching band
playing upbeat music]
1031
00:50:30,697 --> 00:50:34,101
[yelping]
[spectators clamor]
1032
00:50:38,806 --> 00:50:40,875
[mouthing]
1033
00:50:44,411 --> 00:50:46,247
♪ What's Regina eating? ♪
1034
00:50:46,379 --> 00:50:47,882
♪ God, look at her figure ♪
1035
00:50:48,015 --> 00:50:50,684
♪ Did her boobs get bigger?
Regina! Regina! ♪
1036
00:50:50,818 --> 00:50:52,320
♪ She has everything! ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
1037
00:50:52,452 --> 00:50:54,688
♪ She gets everything! ♪
[camera shutter clicking]
1038
00:50:54,822 --> 00:50:57,624
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1039
00:51:01,262 --> 00:51:04,298
Six weeks and all we've done
is make Regina hotter
and revive the wet look.
1040
00:51:04,431 --> 00:51:06,033
We have to pivot.
1041
00:51:06,167 --> 00:51:08,735
If we can make
Gretchen Wieners think
that Regina is mad at her...
1042
00:51:08,870 --> 00:51:10,838
No, no, no.
Gretchen is fragile.
1043
00:51:10,972 --> 00:51:12,405
Exactly!
1044
00:51:12,539 --> 00:51:14,441
If we crack her open,
maybe she'll spill
something we can use.
1045
00:51:14,574 --> 00:51:16,643
[French teacher
clears throat]
1046
00:51:22,449 --> 00:51:24,118
♪ Party ♪
1047
00:51:24,252 --> 00:51:26,753
Hey, girl, you sending
any candy canes this year?
1048
00:51:26,888 --> 00:51:30,024
Oh. [chuckles]
I don't send them.
I just get them.
1049
00:51:31,458 --> 00:51:33,760
Um, stop pulling it down.
1050
00:51:33,895 --> 00:51:36,396
Your hair looks so sexy
pushed back.
1051
00:51:37,265 --> 00:51:38,732
Cady, would you
please tell him
1052
00:51:38,866 --> 00:51:41,135
that his hair looks sexy
pushed back?
1053
00:51:42,636 --> 00:51:44,738
Your hair looks sexy
pushed back.
1054
00:51:44,872 --> 00:51:45,907
Oh...
1055
00:51:51,379 --> 00:51:52,612
Thanks.
1056
00:51:56,384 --> 00:51:58,618
I'll, uh, see you in Calc.
1057
00:52:00,288 --> 00:52:02,957
♪ At every party
There might be a low ♪
1058
00:52:03,090 --> 00:52:06,459
♪ Where the energy dips ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
1059
00:52:06,593 --> 00:52:13,367
♪ You might be thinking
"It's late, we should go
And they ran out of chips" ♪
1060
00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:17,204
♪ No! I can't even watch
When she touches his hair ♪
1061
00:52:17,338 --> 00:52:19,974
♪ And I've watched a snake
Eat a cow ♪
1062
00:52:20,107 --> 00:52:23,677
♪ Regina needs to be toppled
Sorry, Gretchen, I swear ♪
1063
00:52:23,811 --> 00:52:26,981
♪ We'll get our party now! ♪
1064
00:52:27,114 --> 00:52:29,150
One candy cane, please!
1065
00:52:31,319 --> 00:52:34,754
♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪
1066
00:52:34,889 --> 00:52:36,924
♪ With lions in a Roman arena ♪
1067
00:52:37,058 --> 00:52:40,094
♪ She has everything!
She gets everything! ♪
1068
00:52:41,162 --> 00:52:43,097
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1069
00:52:43,230 --> 00:52:44,731
Ho, ho, ho!
1070
00:52:44,865 --> 00:52:46,934
Candy Cane Gram
for Shane Oman!
1071
00:52:47,068 --> 00:52:48,468
♪ She has everything! ♪
1072
00:52:48,601 --> 00:52:50,537
And one for Cady Heron.
1073
00:52:50,670 --> 00:52:52,039
♪ She gets everything! ♪
1074
00:52:52,173 --> 00:52:54,075
Four for Glenn Cocco?
1075
00:52:54,208 --> 00:52:55,810
You go, Glenn Cocco!
1076
00:52:55,943 --> 00:52:58,145
♪ Glenn Cocco!
Glenn Cocco! Glenn Cocco! ♪
1077
00:52:59,180 --> 00:53:03,117
And... none
for Gretchen Wieners, bye.
1078
00:53:03,717 --> 00:53:04,684
Who sent that?
1079
00:53:04,819 --> 00:53:05,920
Oh, it's from...
1080
00:53:06,053 --> 00:53:08,022
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1081
00:53:08,155 --> 00:53:11,459
"Thanks for being
such a great best friend."
1082
00:53:11,591 --> 00:53:12,759
Aw.
1083
00:53:13,461 --> 00:53:14,862
Oh.
1084
00:53:15,997 --> 00:53:17,064
Okay.
1085
00:53:18,232 --> 00:53:20,034
If you and Regina are
"best friends" now,
1086
00:53:20,167 --> 00:53:22,736
then you can be in charge of
keeping all her secrets, okay?
1087
00:53:22,870 --> 00:53:25,973
For example, she gave you
those high-heel shoes
just to make fun of you
1088
00:53:26,107 --> 00:53:29,043
because she knew
you wouldn't be able
to walk in them. Sorry!
1089
00:53:29,176 --> 00:53:31,912
Also, she says
she has a nose job,
1090
00:53:32,046 --> 00:53:33,580
but that's just to distract
from the fact
1091
00:53:33,713 --> 00:53:35,983
that she had one
of her ears moved!
1092
00:53:36,117 --> 00:53:38,752
Also, she totally cheats
on Aaron.
1093
00:53:38,886 --> 00:53:41,721
Yeah. Every Tuesday,
she says she has College Prep,
1094
00:53:41,856 --> 00:53:43,457
but really she's hooking up
with Shane Oman
1095
00:53:43,623 --> 00:53:45,126
in the third-floor
janitorial closet
1096
00:53:45,259 --> 00:53:47,995
on the bags of sawdust
that they use for barf!
1097
00:53:48,129 --> 00:53:50,131
And I never told anyone
1098
00:53:50,264 --> 00:53:52,500
because I'm such
a good friend!
1099
00:53:52,632 --> 00:53:54,268
[exclaims]
1100
00:53:54,402 --> 00:53:57,670
And I'm only telling you
because you're such
a good friend.
1101
00:54:04,145 --> 00:54:05,946
♪ It's a revenge party ♪
1102
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:07,714
♪ A party that ends ♪
1103
00:54:07,848 --> 00:54:10,284
♪ With somebody's head
On a spike! ♪
1104
00:54:10,418 --> 00:54:13,320
♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
1105
00:54:13,454 --> 00:54:17,590
♪ It's like a party
With revenge
Is what it's like ♪
1106
00:54:36,177 --> 00:54:38,645
♪ A party with revenge
Is what it's like ♪
1107
00:54:39,579 --> 00:54:42,582
♪ A party with revenge ♪
1108
00:54:42,715 --> 00:54:46,487
♪ With revenge ♪
1109
00:54:46,619 --> 00:54:48,255
♪ Is what it's like! ♪
1110
00:55:00,633 --> 00:55:03,938
Hey, do you have time to go
over derivatives for a minute?
1111
00:55:04,538 --> 00:55:06,874
Oh, um... no, not today.
1112
00:55:09,410 --> 00:55:10,643
Cady?
1113
00:55:12,679 --> 00:55:14,248
Um...
1114
00:55:14,381 --> 00:55:16,716
You've failed
your last five quizzes.
Is everything okay?
1115
00:55:16,851 --> 00:55:19,220
I'm... I'm sorry.
I'll just try harder.
1116
00:55:19,353 --> 00:55:21,055
Okay, because
if you need extra help,
1117
00:55:21,188 --> 00:55:23,124
there's a Mathletes meeting
starting in a couple minutes.
1118
00:55:23,257 --> 00:55:25,593
I can't. I'm sorry.
I have to go
to my friend Regina's house.
1119
00:55:25,725 --> 00:55:27,428
We're doing a dance
in the talent show.
1120
00:55:27,561 --> 00:55:29,964
"Rockin' Around
the Pole"?
Yeah, how did you know?
1121
00:55:30,097 --> 00:55:31,932
They do it every year.
It's like a...
1122
00:55:32,066 --> 00:55:34,034
Tradition?
Recurring nightmare.
1123
00:55:35,002 --> 00:55:37,538
Okay, I could probably
get Kevin to tutor you.
1124
00:55:37,670 --> 00:55:39,306
Well, Aaron's tutoring me now,
so...
1125
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:42,076
Oh, he's tutoring you?
Sure, okay, well,
1126
00:55:42,209 --> 00:55:44,378
let Aaron know that the weird
thing with your quizzes
1127
00:55:44,512 --> 00:55:47,747
is that all the work is right
and only the answers are wrong.
1128
00:55:47,882 --> 00:55:50,050
Huh.
Huh.
1129
00:55:50,184 --> 00:55:53,053
Cady, I am not gonna
stop pushing you,
because I'm a pusher.
1130
00:55:53,187 --> 00:55:55,222
And I know you're smarter
than this.
1131
00:55:55,356 --> 00:55:59,527
Maybe I should just push
your seat away from Aaron's.
1132
00:55:59,659 --> 00:56:02,496
Ugh! And she was like,
"I'm a pusher, Cady.
I'm a pusher."
1133
00:56:02,630 --> 00:56:04,999
Wait, what does she even mean,
she's a "pusher"?
1134
00:56:05,132 --> 00:56:09,570
Like a drug pusher?
I don't know.
She's so weird.
1135
00:56:09,702 --> 00:56:12,739
Let it all out, honey.
Put it in the book.
1136
00:56:15,109 --> 00:56:17,444
Look at this thing!
1137
00:56:18,646 --> 00:56:21,615
I can't even see it.
It's sexy,
like a face breast.
1138
00:56:21,748 --> 00:56:25,486
It happens to me, too.
It's just the Kälteen bars
flushing your toxins.
1139
00:56:25,619 --> 00:56:26,887
Huh. Okay.
1140
00:56:27,021 --> 00:56:29,256
Well, this skin stuff
you gave me sucks!
1141
00:56:29,756 --> 00:56:31,225
Where did you get it?
1142
00:56:32,660 --> 00:56:34,261
[Damian chuckling]
1143
00:56:38,798 --> 00:56:40,000
[dings]
1144
00:56:40,568 --> 00:56:41,635
The Paris airport.
1145
00:56:41,768 --> 00:56:42,903
Oh, "the Paris airport."
1146
00:56:43,037 --> 00:56:45,105
Well, it's garbage.
And so are you.
1147
00:56:47,575 --> 00:56:50,344
She's just grouchy
because Aaron
broke up with her.
1148
00:56:50,477 --> 00:56:51,778
He did?
1149
00:56:51,912 --> 00:56:53,746
Someone told him
about Shane.
1150
00:56:54,448 --> 00:56:56,183
Do you think it was Santa?
1151
00:56:57,284 --> 00:56:58,751
Oh...
1152
00:56:58,886 --> 00:57:01,589
Also,
all that she's been eating
are those Kälteen bars,
1153
00:57:01,721 --> 00:57:04,091
and I don't think she's pooped
in, like, two weeks.
1154
00:57:04,225 --> 00:57:05,426
Uh...
1155
00:57:05,559 --> 00:57:07,494
Hey, G, we've practiced
a bunch with Cady.
1156
00:57:07,628 --> 00:57:08,662
You want to run it once?
1157
00:57:08,795 --> 00:57:10,763
Why? I'm perfect every year.
1158
00:57:10,898 --> 00:57:12,132
Mm-hmm.
1159
00:57:12,266 --> 00:57:14,301
Yeah, but it's,
uh, Cady's first time
1160
00:57:14,435 --> 00:57:16,303
and there's a bunch
of traffic patterns...
1161
00:57:16,437 --> 00:57:19,406
Stop playing with
that stupid babyish book!
1162
00:57:19,540 --> 00:57:20,808
[yelps]
1163
00:57:22,042 --> 00:57:23,577
[button clicks]
1164
00:57:23,711 --> 00:57:24,678
[inhales deeply]
[piano music plays]
1165
00:58:04,285 --> 00:58:06,320
Uh, that was
Damian Hubbard singing...
1166
00:58:06,453 --> 00:58:08,922
...the iCarly theme song
1167
00:58:09,056 --> 00:58:10,658
in French for extra credit.
1168
00:58:10,824 --> 00:58:12,026
Yeah!
1169
00:58:13,327 --> 00:58:15,795
Our next act describes
their music
1170
00:58:15,929 --> 00:58:19,099
as "Like a sine wave,
they don't stop."
1171
00:58:19,233 --> 00:58:22,670
Please welcome Kevin G
and the Power of Three.
1172
00:58:22,802 --> 00:58:24,838
[applause]
[Kevin G] Uh. Yeah.
1173
00:58:24,972 --> 00:58:26,874
♪ All you ♪
1174
00:58:27,007 --> 00:58:29,209
♪ Suckah emcees
Ain't got nothin' on me ♪
1175
00:58:29,343 --> 00:58:31,645
♪ From my grades to my rhymes
You can't touch Kevin G ♪
1176
00:58:31,779 --> 00:58:32,846
♪ I'm a Mathlete ♪
1177
00:58:32,980 --> 00:58:34,615
♪ So good under pressure ♪
1178
00:58:34,748 --> 00:58:36,483
♪ I'ma find acute angles
To prioritize your pleasure ♪
1179
00:58:36,617 --> 00:58:38,786
♪ I'm a Model UN rep
Out in these streets ♪
1180
00:58:38,919 --> 00:58:41,188
♪ But I'm a overachiever
Under the sheets ♪
1181
00:58:41,322 --> 00:58:43,891
♪ She be like
"Uhhhh, Kevin G!" ♪
1182
00:58:44,024 --> 00:58:45,492
Inappropriate.
1183
00:58:45,626 --> 00:58:46,894
Kevin, we talked about this.
1184
00:58:47,027 --> 00:58:49,496
Well,
happy holidays, everybody.
1185
00:58:51,765 --> 00:58:54,068
[groans]
Why is this so tight?
1186
00:58:54,201 --> 00:58:55,869
You've had it
since the sixth grade.
1187
00:58:56,003 --> 00:58:57,705
You're probably maturing.
1188
00:58:57,838 --> 00:59:00,774
Um, do you just,
like, want to run it one time
real quick?
1189
00:59:00,908 --> 00:59:04,044
Gretchen,
literally no one cares.
1190
00:59:04,178 --> 00:59:06,146
Mm-hmm. No, totally.
1191
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:08,349
Um, do you just want
to run the acro?
1192
00:59:08,482 --> 00:59:10,484
Because none of us really does
gymnastics anymore
1193
00:59:10,617 --> 00:59:12,653
and when we made up this dance,
we all weighed, like, 70 pounds,
1194
00:59:12,786 --> 00:59:16,223
so maybe we should
just make sure everyone's
center of gravity is still...
1195
00:59:16,357 --> 00:59:17,458
Still what?
1196
00:59:18,659 --> 00:59:19,593
Nothing.
1197
00:59:24,965 --> 00:59:26,633
[music ends]
[audience applauding]
1198
00:59:26,767 --> 00:59:30,637
Thank you,
Shelby and Timmy, for tapping.
1199
00:59:30,771 --> 00:59:32,439
Also, if anyone finds
a retainer
1200
00:59:32,573 --> 00:59:35,876
in a bright aqua case,
that is mine.
1201
00:59:36,009 --> 00:59:37,277
Please return it.
1202
00:59:37,411 --> 00:59:39,880
My insurance won't cover
a replacement.
1203
00:59:40,914 --> 00:59:42,483
Karen, I can see your bra.
1204
00:59:42,616 --> 00:59:44,418
It's on purpose.
I'm going for a look.
1205
00:59:44,551 --> 00:59:46,286
Is it "girl
who slept with 11 people"?
1206
00:59:46,420 --> 00:59:47,955
'Cause you're nailing it.
1207
00:59:49,456 --> 00:59:52,326
I think your top is fetch.
Gretchen!
1208
00:59:52,459 --> 00:59:54,561
Stop trying
to make "fetch" happen.
1209
00:59:54,695 --> 00:59:57,564
It's not going to happen.
1210
01:00:01,135 --> 01:00:03,805
Okay,
please welcome Santa's Helpers
1211
01:00:03,937 --> 01:00:05,773
doing "Rockin'
Around the Pole."
1212
01:00:07,107 --> 01:00:09,243
[festive music
playing over speakers]
1213
01:00:15,649 --> 01:00:18,051
♪ We're gonna
Take a Christmas train ♪
1214
01:00:18,185 --> 01:00:20,120
♪ To where Santa lives ♪
1215
01:00:20,254 --> 01:00:22,990
♪ Up through the sleet
And snow ♪
1216
01:00:23,123 --> 01:00:26,493
♪ Then we'll hop and bop
Straight to the top ♪
1217
01:00:26,627 --> 01:00:29,563
♪ Last stop the North Pole ♪
1218
01:00:31,165 --> 01:00:34,701
♪ And we'll be rock, rock
Rockin' around the pole ♪
1219
01:00:34,836 --> 01:00:37,704
♪ Where the northern lights
Are bright ♪
1220
01:00:37,839 --> 01:00:41,475
♪ Rock, rock, rockin'
Around the pole ♪
1221
01:00:41,608 --> 01:00:44,578
♪ We'll rock that pole
All night ♪
1222
01:00:44,711 --> 01:00:47,948
♪ And we'll be sing, sing
Singin' a Christmas tune ♪
1223
01:00:48,081 --> 01:00:49,683
Thank you, next!
1224
01:00:51,051 --> 01:00:54,755
♪ Yeah, we'll be rock
Rock, rockin' up on that pole ♪
1225
01:00:54,889 --> 01:00:57,724
♪ Rockin' till the break
Of day ♪
1226
01:00:57,859 --> 01:01:00,761
♪ Yeah, we'll be rockin'
Stuffin' a stockin' ♪
1227
01:01:00,895 --> 01:01:03,898
♪ And they'll be talkin'
About us in town ♪
1228
01:01:04,031 --> 01:01:06,099
♪ Yeah, we'll be rockin' ♪
[audience gasps]
1229
01:01:06,233 --> 01:01:08,001
♪ And rollin' and lockin'
And strollin' ♪
[laughing]
1230
01:01:08,135 --> 01:01:11,906
♪ Till the North Pole police
Come shut us down ♪
1231
01:01:12,039 --> 01:01:14,274
[music slows down]
1232
01:01:31,558 --> 01:01:33,494
[music stops]
1233
01:01:33,627 --> 01:01:36,797
So, I went
to the Christmas show
and it was a mess, y'all.
1234
01:01:36,931 --> 01:01:38,665
Regina ate total shit.
1235
01:01:38,799 --> 01:01:40,234
I think people saw her nipple.
1236
01:01:40,367 --> 01:01:41,702
It's just unprofessional.
1237
01:01:41,836 --> 01:01:43,170
This was kind of hilarious.
1238
01:01:43,303 --> 01:01:45,305
[audience gasping]
1239
01:01:45,439 --> 01:01:46,841
[laughs]
[vlogger 1] I've watched
1240
01:01:46,975 --> 01:01:50,377
this video a thousand times.
Gretchen piledrived Regina.
1241
01:01:50,511 --> 01:01:52,112
Regina really should be
lifting through her glutes.
1242
01:01:52,246 --> 01:01:54,147
Regina challenge!
1243
01:01:54,281 --> 01:01:55,850
You know
what that bitch gets?
1244
01:01:55,984 --> 01:01:57,150
Not my sympathy.
1245
01:01:57,284 --> 01:01:58,519
It's not like
we like Regina anyway.
1246
01:01:58,652 --> 01:02:00,420
She's such a bitch.
She's so spoiled.
1247
01:02:00,554 --> 01:02:02,623
Regina always wanted
to be the center of attention.
1248
01:02:02,756 --> 01:02:04,993
Girl, we all see you.
1249
01:02:05,158 --> 01:02:07,027
Regina got what she deserves.
1250
01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:08,897
But you know, that Cady girl
was kind of cute.
1251
01:02:09,029 --> 01:02:09,964
You know, she stayed,
she waved.
1252
01:02:10,097 --> 01:02:12,266
She ate, like, house down.
1253
01:02:12,399 --> 01:02:13,968
Cady Heron was the only one
that acted normal.
1254
01:02:14,101 --> 01:02:15,602
Oh, yeah.
[vlogger 6]
I think she salvaged
1255
01:02:15,736 --> 01:02:17,371
the worst tradition
of the year.
1256
01:02:17,504 --> 01:02:19,339
Period.
She was... She's kind of hot.
1257
01:02:19,473 --> 01:02:21,341
She might even be hotter
than Regina George.
1258
01:02:21,475 --> 01:02:24,244
No zits. Gum health.
American Eagle.
1259
01:02:24,378 --> 01:02:25,947
Cady doesn't even have
to wear deodorant.
1260
01:02:26,079 --> 01:02:27,414
I'm thinking of going red.
1261
01:02:27,548 --> 01:02:28,983
Okay, so, somebody sent me
this look, and I was like,
1262
01:02:29,116 --> 01:02:30,952
"Hot girls,
we are going back to red!
1263
01:02:31,084 --> 01:02:32,786
Y2K fire-crotch is back!"
1264
01:02:32,921 --> 01:02:34,454
Thank you, Cady Heron.
1265
01:02:34,588 --> 01:02:36,523
Cady was looking good.
1266
01:02:37,926 --> 01:02:39,359
[Janis] Caddy!
1267
01:02:40,127 --> 01:02:41,762
Did you hear me?
1268
01:02:41,896 --> 01:02:44,197
What?
We did it.
1269
01:02:44,331 --> 01:02:45,566
Regina lost
her hot boyfriend.
1270
01:02:45,699 --> 01:02:47,134
She lost her status
over everyone.
1271
01:02:47,267 --> 01:02:48,836
She popped her blemish
against the stage floor.
1272
01:02:48,970 --> 01:02:50,404
That's rock bottom.
[chuckles]
1273
01:02:51,138 --> 01:02:53,140
We can stop. We're even.
1274
01:02:53,273 --> 01:02:54,842
Finally you don't have
to talk to them anymore.
1275
01:02:54,976 --> 01:02:57,277
We can finally
have lunch together tomorrow.
1276
01:02:57,411 --> 01:02:58,745
I'm getting dumplings.
1277
01:02:58,880 --> 01:03:00,815
Unless they have pizza bagels,
then I might get both.
1278
01:03:00,949 --> 01:03:02,616
[Janis] So good.
I can't.
1279
01:03:04,819 --> 01:03:06,720
I need one more lunch.
1280
01:03:30,310 --> 01:03:33,280
I'm sorry, Regina.
You can't sit with us.
1281
01:03:35,482 --> 01:03:36,884
What?
1282
01:03:37,885 --> 01:03:40,787
You're wearing sweatpants.
It's Thursday.
1283
01:03:41,622 --> 01:03:43,323
Whatever.
Those rules aren't real.
1284
01:03:43,457 --> 01:03:44,758
They were real
that day I wore a vest.
1285
01:03:44,892 --> 01:03:46,460
Yeah, because that vest
was disgusting!
1286
01:03:46,593 --> 01:03:48,997
You can't sit with us!
1287
01:04:01,775 --> 01:04:04,478
These sweatpants
are all that fit me right now.
1288
01:04:07,849 --> 01:04:09,216
What do you think, Cady?
1289
01:04:16,057 --> 01:04:19,861
Sorry, Regina.
Rules are rules.
1290
01:04:21,896 --> 01:04:22,930
Fine.
1291
01:04:25,232 --> 01:04:28,335
Oh. [laughs mockingly]
1292
01:04:30,404 --> 01:04:32,572
Take a picture, losers.
It'll last longer.
1293
01:04:40,882 --> 01:04:42,582
And that...
...was the beginning...
1294
01:04:42,716 --> 01:04:43,717
...of the...
...mother*******
1295
01:04:43,851 --> 01:04:45,452
[trilling]
...end.
1296
01:04:48,755 --> 01:04:50,290
Hello,
may I have your attention
1297
01:04:50,424 --> 01:04:52,160
for this morning's
announcements?
1298
01:04:53,393 --> 01:04:54,862
In honor
of Women's History Month,
1299
01:04:54,996 --> 01:04:58,532
the cafeteria is offering
vegan "Confident Joannes"
1300
01:04:58,665 --> 01:05:01,435
which are Sloppy Joes
made of beans.
1301
01:05:03,403 --> 01:05:04,972
Secondly, we want
to wish good luck
1302
01:05:05,106 --> 01:05:07,474
to junior, Janis 'Imi'ike...
[student snoring]
1303
01:05:07,607 --> 01:05:08,843
...who is a finalist
1304
01:05:08,976 --> 01:05:11,478
in the Illinois Art Expo
this Saturday.
1305
01:05:11,611 --> 01:05:14,082
Go, Lions! Even for Art.
1306
01:05:14,214 --> 01:05:15,716
Art, art, art!
[Mr. Duvall] Next up,
1307
01:05:15,850 --> 01:05:18,251
the Students Activities
Committee voted,
1308
01:05:18,385 --> 01:05:19,887
and the theme for
this year's Spring Fling...
1309
01:05:20,021 --> 01:05:22,689
What's that lip color?
Oh, it's e.l.f. O Face in...
1310
01:05:22,824 --> 01:05:23,858
No, amazing, yeah.
1311
01:05:23,991 --> 01:05:25,659
I was just making sure
your ears still worked.
1312
01:05:25,792 --> 01:05:30,363
And finally, the nominees for
Spring Fling King and Queen
1313
01:05:30,497 --> 01:05:31,899
are as follows:
1314
01:05:32,033 --> 01:05:33,800
For King, Aaron Samuels,
1315
01:05:33,935 --> 01:05:37,004
Christian Wiggins
and Shane Oman.
1316
01:05:37,138 --> 01:05:39,339
And Damian Hubbard. What?
1317
01:05:40,174 --> 01:05:41,408
For Queen...
1318
01:05:41,541 --> 01:05:42,776
...Regina George...
1319
01:05:42,910 --> 01:05:45,445
...Karen Shetty
and Gretchen Wieners.
1320
01:05:45,579 --> 01:05:47,849
Same old, same old.
[Mr. Duvall] And Caddy Heron.
1321
01:05:47,982 --> 01:05:49,649
[gasps]
1322
01:05:50,918 --> 01:05:52,053
Wow.
1323
01:05:52,186 --> 01:05:53,320
Wait, my mistake.
1324
01:05:55,823 --> 01:05:57,290
Cady Heron.
1325
01:05:58,025 --> 01:05:59,259
[chuckles]
1326
01:06:01,294 --> 01:06:02,562
Oh, my God.
1327
01:06:02,696 --> 01:06:05,900
Oh, my God,
so many people are texting me.
1328
01:06:06,033 --> 01:06:08,802
Should I, um, text Aaron
and congratulate him?
1329
01:06:08,936 --> 01:06:09,837
[Damian, Janis] No.
1330
01:06:09,971 --> 01:06:11,705
Hey, do you want a lift
this weekend?
1331
01:06:11,839 --> 01:06:13,975
'Cause Damian's borrowing
his grandma's Jazzy.
1332
01:06:14,108 --> 01:06:15,709
A lift to what?
1333
01:06:16,944 --> 01:06:19,479
My art show.
Didn't you just hear
Mr. Duvall talking about it?
1334
01:06:19,613 --> 01:06:22,150
Oh, that's this weekend?
Yeah.
1335
01:06:22,282 --> 01:06:26,286
Oh, shoot.
I have tickets to this thing
in Madison with my mom.
1336
01:06:26,419 --> 01:06:27,788
Uh, I'm sorry.
1337
01:06:29,623 --> 01:06:32,359
Yeah, you seem
super sad about it.
1338
01:06:34,962 --> 01:06:37,265
So, what are we doing
this weekend?
1339
01:06:37,397 --> 01:06:39,100
Why is everyone asking me
about the weekend?
1340
01:06:39,233 --> 01:06:40,467
It's Tuesday.
1341
01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:43,938
Yeah, the weekend is only...
several days away.
1342
01:06:44,071 --> 01:06:46,439
I have to go to this thing
in Madison with my mom.
1343
01:06:46,573 --> 01:06:48,276
Your mom is going away?
You should have people over.
1344
01:06:48,408 --> 01:06:49,877
No, I'm going with her.
1345
01:06:50,011 --> 01:06:53,413
Well, if you have people over,
you can invite Aaron.
1346
01:06:56,716 --> 01:06:57,852
Huh.
1347
01:06:57,985 --> 01:06:59,619
Yeah, I guess
I could get out of it.
1348
01:06:59,753 --> 01:07:01,755
[both chuckle]
But, like,
1349
01:07:01,889 --> 01:07:05,259
we would keep it small, right?
Like five or six people?
1350
01:07:05,425 --> 01:07:06,626
Yes!
Sure!
1351
01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:09,130
Why are you doing this to me?!
1352
01:07:09,263 --> 01:07:12,066
I promised my friend Janis
I'd go to her art show!
1353
01:07:12,200 --> 01:07:14,568
But, binti, we've had
these tickets for months.
1354
01:07:14,701 --> 01:07:16,170
You love Neil deGrasse Tyson.
1355
01:07:16,304 --> 01:07:17,271
Mom!
1356
01:07:17,404 --> 01:07:19,606
Janis is my best friend!
1357
01:07:19,739 --> 01:07:21,474
Do you not want me
to be a good friend?!
1358
01:07:21,608 --> 01:07:22,844
No! Yes! What?
1359
01:07:22,977 --> 01:07:26,948
You can, uh, stay home
on your own, I guess.
1360
01:07:27,081 --> 01:07:29,217
Hey. I'm having
a small get-together
1361
01:07:29,349 --> 01:07:32,519
at my house tomorrow night.
My mom's away, so...
1362
01:07:32,652 --> 01:07:33,787
Is Regina going?
1363
01:07:33,921 --> 01:07:36,489
No! Do you think
I'm an idiot? No.
1364
01:07:36,623 --> 01:07:38,525
It's just gonna be
a few cool people,
1365
01:07:38,658 --> 01:07:40,627
and you better be
one of them, byotch.
1366
01:07:41,561 --> 01:07:43,663
Okay. I'll be there.
1367
01:07:46,700 --> 01:07:49,136
[upbeat music playing
over speakers]
1368
01:08:01,548 --> 01:08:02,984
No, no, no!
1369
01:08:03,117 --> 01:08:05,086
[vase shatters]
1370
01:08:06,519 --> 01:08:08,122
[cheering]
1371
01:08:14,527 --> 01:08:16,264
Have you seen Aaron?
1372
01:08:16,396 --> 01:08:18,099
What?
Aaron!
1373
01:08:18,232 --> 01:08:19,834
Karen?
1374
01:08:21,002 --> 01:08:22,036
Hi.
1375
01:08:26,340 --> 01:08:28,508
Whoo!
[coughing]
1376
01:08:30,477 --> 01:08:32,246
[muffled upbeat music
playing over speakers]
1377
01:08:32,380 --> 01:08:33,848
[chuckles softly]
1378
01:08:35,548 --> 01:08:37,151
I've been looking for you.
1379
01:08:38,019 --> 01:08:39,419
Me as well.
1380
01:08:39,552 --> 01:08:42,589
I like your costume.
I mean, um, your dress.
1381
01:08:43,690 --> 01:08:45,293
Is this you holding
a crocodile?
1382
01:08:45,458 --> 01:08:48,396
Oh, my God,
don't look at that.
That is so embarrassing.
1383
01:08:48,528 --> 01:08:50,998
No, it's not. It's awesome.
1384
01:08:51,966 --> 01:08:53,100
You miss Kenya?
1385
01:08:53,234 --> 01:08:54,335
Yes.
1386
01:08:54,467 --> 01:08:56,137
No. I mean, I...
1387
01:08:57,204 --> 01:08:58,806
Well, I miss...
1388
01:08:58,940 --> 01:09:01,342
I could see
a lot more sky there.
1389
01:09:01,474 --> 01:09:02,676
At night.
1390
01:09:02,810 --> 01:09:06,013
My mom and I used
to map the constellations.
1391
01:09:06,646 --> 01:09:08,149
The stars.
1392
01:09:16,924 --> 01:09:18,658
You still on
the treadmill, honey?
1393
01:09:18,792 --> 01:09:20,694
No, I'm over there.
1394
01:09:21,795 --> 01:09:25,199
You got any plans tonight?
It's Saturday.
1395
01:09:25,333 --> 01:09:27,368
Mom, don't bother me.
1396
01:09:27,500 --> 01:09:30,770
I know you're not
feeling your best
about your body right now,
1397
01:09:30,905 --> 01:09:34,875
but remember that real beauty
comes from the face.
1398
01:09:35,009 --> 01:09:38,813
Don't ever talk about my body!
1399
01:09:38,946 --> 01:09:40,915
Okay, okay.
1400
01:09:44,218 --> 01:09:47,754
Wait, honey, why are
you eating Kälteen bars?
1401
01:09:47,888 --> 01:09:50,024
These are what
we gave Nana Joan
1402
01:09:50,157 --> 01:09:52,093
when we needed her
to gain weight.
1403
01:09:56,330 --> 01:09:57,999
[breathing heavily]
1404
01:10:08,275 --> 01:10:10,244
[screaming]
1405
01:10:15,749 --> 01:10:17,584
I am drinking
1406
01:10:17,717 --> 01:10:19,652
not juice tonight.
[chuckles]
1407
01:10:19,786 --> 01:10:21,856
I know. I can tell.
1408
01:10:22,589 --> 01:10:23,690
We should go downstairs.
1409
01:10:23,824 --> 01:10:26,360
No, no, no, sit down.
I'm amazing.
1410
01:10:26,494 --> 01:10:27,727
[chuckles]
1411
01:10:32,867 --> 01:10:36,037
I think you should wear
your hair however you want.
1412
01:10:36,170 --> 01:10:39,073
I think it looks good
both ways.
1413
01:10:40,740 --> 01:10:42,575
[chuckles]
1414
01:10:42,709 --> 01:10:45,346
Thank you
for inviting me tonight.
1415
01:10:45,479 --> 01:10:48,449
I think
I've spent too much time
being pissed at Regina.
1416
01:10:48,581 --> 01:10:49,917
Yeah, you really have.
1417
01:10:50,051 --> 01:10:53,220
No more liars.
I would never lie to you.
1418
01:10:54,687 --> 01:10:56,857
I mean,
I did lie to you once.
1419
01:10:56,991 --> 01:10:59,493
But you are totally
gonna laugh when I tell you.
1420
01:10:59,659 --> 01:11:00,828
Tell me what?
[door opens]
1421
01:11:00,961 --> 01:11:03,064
[laughing]
We're in here!
1422
01:11:03,998 --> 01:11:05,332
[laughs]
1423
01:11:05,466 --> 01:11:06,834
[chuckles]
1424
01:11:08,102 --> 01:11:11,072
I pretended
to be bad at math
1425
01:11:11,205 --> 01:11:13,773
to get you to help me,
but I'm not bad at math.
1426
01:11:13,908 --> 01:11:16,310
I'm actually... I'm actually
really good at math.
1427
01:11:16,444 --> 01:11:20,448
You're the one who's only
kind of okay at math.
1428
01:11:20,580 --> 01:11:22,682
Anyways, um,
now I'm failing.
1429
01:11:22,817 --> 01:11:26,987
So isn't that so dumb?
That is dumb, yeah.
1430
01:11:27,888 --> 01:11:29,223
Why wouldn't you
just talk to me?
1431
01:11:29,356 --> 01:11:31,192
Because of Regina.
'Cause you were her property.
1432
01:11:31,325 --> 01:11:33,427
Her property?
Shut up. Not her property.
1433
01:11:33,561 --> 01:11:34,962
Don't tell me to shut up.
1434
01:11:36,497 --> 01:11:38,698
[Cady]
What? Aaron, sit down.
1435
01:11:38,833 --> 01:11:40,534
You are a clone of Regina.
1436
01:11:40,667 --> 01:11:42,769
[upbeat music
playing over speakers]
1437
01:11:43,471 --> 01:11:44,872
No. No, no, no!
1438
01:11:45,005 --> 01:11:47,475
What are you thinking about?
1439
01:11:47,607 --> 01:11:48,675
Chicken wings later.
1440
01:11:48,809 --> 01:11:50,044
Do you ever think about me?
1441
01:11:50,177 --> 01:11:53,180
Sometimes.
When I'm looking right at you.
1442
01:12:01,555 --> 01:12:03,623
Cady, Cady, Cady!
No, no, no.
1443
01:12:07,561 --> 01:12:08,863
Aaron! [panting]
1444
01:12:17,905 --> 01:12:19,974
You dirty little liar.
1445
01:12:20,773 --> 01:12:22,076
I... I can explain.
1446
01:12:22,209 --> 01:12:23,911
Explain how you're supposed
to be out of town
1447
01:12:24,044 --> 01:12:25,446
but there are
60 different people
1448
01:12:25,579 --> 01:12:27,081
posting pictures
from your party?
1449
01:12:27,214 --> 01:12:28,648
You know
I couldn't invite you.
1450
01:12:28,781 --> 01:12:30,584
I... I have to act
like I don't know you.
1451
01:12:30,717 --> 01:12:32,652
You are full of lies!
1452
01:12:32,785 --> 01:12:34,555
Janis, I cannot stop
this Jazzy.
1453
01:12:34,687 --> 01:12:35,755
You know I have a curfew!
1454
01:12:35,890 --> 01:12:37,525
You would hate this party.
1455
01:12:37,657 --> 01:12:39,493
Why? Aren't you having
an amazing time
1456
01:12:39,627 --> 01:12:40,895
with your amazing friends?
1457
01:12:41,028 --> 01:12:42,662
Janis, I can't spend
every minute with you.
1458
01:12:42,795 --> 01:12:45,132
It's not my fault you're like
obsessed with me or something!
1459
01:12:48,068 --> 01:12:51,639
What?
Oh, no, she didn't.
1460
01:12:51,771 --> 01:12:53,974
See, this is the problem
with you Plastics.
1461
01:12:54,108 --> 01:12:56,043
You think everyone
is obsessed with you
1462
01:12:56,177 --> 01:12:57,912
when actually
everybody hates you.
1463
01:12:58,045 --> 01:12:59,847
You made me like this.
1464
01:12:59,980 --> 01:13:02,049
It was your idea for me
to pretend to be Plastic!
1465
01:13:02,183 --> 01:13:03,817
Buddy, it's not pretend!
1466
01:13:03,951 --> 01:13:05,419
♪ You are as plastic
As they come ♪
1467
01:13:05,553 --> 01:13:07,121
♪ You think
Your shit don't stink ♪
1468
01:13:07,254 --> 01:13:08,788
♪ You think
The rest of us are dumb ♪
1469
01:13:08,923 --> 01:13:10,391
♪ I hate Regina's guts ♪
1470
01:13:10,524 --> 01:13:11,825
♪ But here's what
You don't comprehend ♪
1471
01:13:11,959 --> 01:13:13,294
♪ At least she has the guts ♪
1472
01:13:13,427 --> 01:13:15,930
♪ To not pretend
To be my friend! ♪
1473
01:13:17,231 --> 01:13:18,132
Here.
1474
01:13:18,899 --> 01:13:21,969
Have this. It won an award.
Janis.
1475
01:13:22,102 --> 01:13:25,339
♪ No, it's fine ♪
1476
01:13:25,472 --> 01:13:28,409
♪ Really fine ♪
1477
01:13:28,542 --> 01:13:34,315
♪ Go be fine! ♪
1478
01:13:34,448 --> 01:13:35,482
[music stops]
1479
01:13:35,616 --> 01:13:37,451
And I want my pink shirt.
1480
01:14:16,056 --> 01:14:20,561
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1481
01:14:21,428 --> 01:14:26,766
♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
1482
01:14:26,900 --> 01:14:32,640
♪ I will grind you to sand ♪
1483
01:14:32,772 --> 01:14:37,845
♪ Beneath my Louboutin-ed heel ♪
1484
01:14:37,978 --> 01:14:42,650
♪ This is what I get
For helping ♪
1485
01:14:42,782 --> 01:14:47,821
♪ Helping someone lame fit in ♪
1486
01:14:47,955 --> 01:14:50,224
♪ Cady Heron ♪
1487
01:14:50,357 --> 01:14:55,362
♪ Enjoy your temporary win ♪
1488
01:14:58,732 --> 01:15:02,970
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1489
01:15:03,871 --> 01:15:09,076
♪ "This girl is a fugly cow" ♪
1490
01:15:09,209 --> 01:15:11,645
♪ Hey, Cady ♪
1491
01:15:11,779 --> 01:15:19,019
♪ How you like me now? ♪
1492
01:15:20,254 --> 01:15:22,656
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1493
01:15:22,790 --> 01:15:25,359
♪ I brought the gasoline ♪
1494
01:15:25,492 --> 01:15:27,594
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1495
01:15:27,728 --> 01:15:30,864
♪ And everyone get mean ♪
1496
01:15:30,998 --> 01:15:33,267
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1497
01:15:33,400 --> 01:15:35,436
♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1498
01:15:35,569 --> 01:15:38,072
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1499
01:15:38,205 --> 01:15:41,709
♪ And everyone get ♪
1500
01:15:41,842 --> 01:15:46,246
♪ Mean ♪
1501
01:16:02,396 --> 01:16:05,299
♪ Cady, time to
Watch your back ♪
1502
01:16:05,432 --> 01:16:07,901
♪ Cady, time to turn and cough ♪
1503
01:16:08,035 --> 01:16:10,537
♪ Because you took me down ♪
1504
01:16:10,671 --> 01:16:15,676
♪ But you didn't finish me off ♪
1505
01:16:15,810 --> 01:16:17,411
[laughing]
1506
01:16:18,412 --> 01:16:20,781
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1507
01:16:20,914 --> 01:16:23,450
♪ And in case
You're keeping score ♪
1508
01:16:23,584 --> 01:16:25,953
♪ Cady may have won the battle ♪
1509
01:16:26,086 --> 01:16:28,756
♪ But I will win the war ♪
1510
01:16:28,889 --> 01:16:30,357
[crying]
1511
01:16:30,491 --> 01:16:33,761
I'm just so upset, Mr. Duvall.
1512
01:16:33,894 --> 01:16:35,195
We found it in the hallway.
1513
01:16:35,329 --> 01:16:37,798
I mean, the things
it says about me?
1514
01:16:37,931 --> 01:16:39,233
The things it says
about all of us?
1515
01:16:39,366 --> 01:16:41,101
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1516
01:16:41,235 --> 01:16:43,737
♪ Trang Pham
Is a grotsky byotch! ♪
1517
01:16:43,872 --> 01:16:45,539
[laughing]
1518
01:16:45,672 --> 01:16:49,710
"Rachel Hamilton fills
her inhaler with vodka"?
1519
01:16:49,844 --> 01:16:52,279
I mean... does that work?
1520
01:16:54,348 --> 01:16:55,783
♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1521
01:16:55,916 --> 01:16:57,317
♪ Ms. Norbury's ♪
1522
01:16:57,451 --> 01:16:58,887
♪ A drug pusher! ♪
No, no, no. No!
1523
01:16:59,019 --> 01:17:02,289
"Ms. Norbury is a sad,
old drug pusher"?
1524
01:17:03,858 --> 01:17:06,660
"Haley Fralenger has" ...what?
1525
01:17:06,794 --> 01:17:07,896
What's this?
Hairy nips.
1526
01:17:08,028 --> 01:17:09,663
[laughing]
1527
01:17:09,797 --> 01:17:11,398
Good Lord.
1528
01:17:11,532 --> 01:17:14,435
♪ Mmm, I want
To make the world burn ♪
1529
01:17:14,568 --> 01:17:16,838
♪ Janis is a pyro-lez! ♪
1530
01:17:16,970 --> 01:17:19,139
Don't you worry.
We're gonna find out
who did this.
1531
01:17:19,273 --> 01:17:22,075
There's only three girls
in the whole school
who aren't in it.
1532
01:17:22,209 --> 01:17:24,879
♪ Regina is a fugly cow! ♪
1533
01:17:25,012 --> 01:17:27,247
♪ Regina is a fugly cow! ♪
1534
01:17:27,381 --> 01:17:29,149
♪ You wrote this ♪
1535
01:17:29,283 --> 01:17:32,453
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa! ♪
1536
01:17:32,586 --> 01:17:35,055
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1537
01:17:35,189 --> 01:17:37,524
♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1538
01:17:37,658 --> 01:17:40,093
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1539
01:17:40,227 --> 01:17:43,030
♪ And everyone turn ♪
1540
01:17:43,163 --> 01:17:47,734
♪ Mean... Mean ♪
1541
01:17:47,869 --> 01:17:53,140
♪ Mean! ♪
1542
01:17:53,273 --> 01:17:55,309
"Damian Hubbard
is too gay to function"?
1543
01:17:55,442 --> 01:17:56,977
That is only okay
when I say it.
1544
01:17:57,110 --> 01:17:58,645
Only Cady could
have written that.
1545
01:18:00,581 --> 01:18:01,950
[yelping]
1546
01:18:03,083 --> 01:18:08,388
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1547
01:18:08,522 --> 01:18:12,759
♪ I want to make
The world turn ♪
1548
01:18:12,894 --> 01:18:18,098
♪ So mean! ♪
1549
01:18:18,232 --> 01:18:20,000
Oh, hell no!
1550
01:18:20,133 --> 01:18:23,770
I did not go
to graduate school for this.
1551
01:18:23,905 --> 01:18:29,142
♪ I want to watch
The world burn! ♪
1552
01:18:29,276 --> 01:18:34,883
All junior girls report
to the gymnasium immediately!
1553
01:18:35,015 --> 01:18:36,717
Immediately!
1554
01:18:41,288 --> 01:18:43,524
[students whispering]
1555
01:18:49,162 --> 01:18:52,199
Never in my 31 years
as an educator
1556
01:18:52,332 --> 01:18:53,868
have I seen such behavior.
1557
01:18:54,002 --> 01:18:57,170
I have half a mind to cancel
your Spring Fling dance!
1558
01:18:57,304 --> 01:18:59,239
No!
I object.
1559
01:18:59,373 --> 01:19:01,041
[students clamoring]
1560
01:19:01,174 --> 01:19:02,342
But we're not gonna do that
1561
01:19:02,476 --> 01:19:04,111
because we've already paid
the DJ.
1562
01:19:04,244 --> 01:19:08,917
But I am taking
this "Burn Book" seriously.
1563
01:19:09,049 --> 01:19:11,184
Now who has something
to say about this?
1564
01:19:19,526 --> 01:19:20,694
Someone wrote in that book
1565
01:19:20,828 --> 01:19:22,062
that I'm lying
about being a virgin
1566
01:19:22,195 --> 01:19:24,631
because I use
super-jumbo tampons.
1567
01:19:24,765 --> 01:19:27,067
But I can't help it
if I have a heavy flow
1568
01:19:27,200 --> 01:19:28,602
and a wideset vagina.
1569
01:19:28,735 --> 01:19:32,706
Okay. Thank you.
Hold that thought.
1570
01:19:33,707 --> 01:19:36,143
Sharon, you need
to run this.
Oh, come on.
1571
01:19:36,276 --> 01:19:37,845
I need to be able
to tell parents
1572
01:19:37,979 --> 01:19:40,048
that we fixed this,
and honestly,
1573
01:19:40,180 --> 01:19:41,849
you need to prove
whoever called you
1574
01:19:41,983 --> 01:19:45,053
a drug pusher
was just joking.
1575
01:19:45,185 --> 01:19:46,955
Okay, fine,
but you are walking the dogs
1576
01:19:47,087 --> 01:19:48,990
every morning
for the rest of the week.
1577
01:19:49,122 --> 01:19:50,691
Thank you. I love you.
1578
01:19:50,825 --> 01:19:52,459
I love you, too.
1579
01:19:55,128 --> 01:19:56,363
[Ms. Norbury sighs]
1580
01:19:57,564 --> 01:19:58,765
♪ Well ♪
1581
01:19:58,900 --> 01:20:00,801
[clears throat]
Excuse me.
1582
01:20:02,235 --> 01:20:06,206
Well, okay, hotshots,
1583
01:20:06,874 --> 01:20:08,475
who wrote all this junk?
1584
01:20:11,012 --> 01:20:12,179
Cady?
1585
01:20:12,947 --> 01:20:14,615
Any ideas?
1586
01:20:16,951 --> 01:20:17,819
No.
1587
01:20:17,952 --> 01:20:19,319
Interesting.
1588
01:20:19,453 --> 01:20:20,888
Um, can I just say,
1589
01:20:21,022 --> 01:20:23,190
I don't think we have a clique
problem at this school?
1590
01:20:23,323 --> 01:20:25,626
And some of us
shouldn't have to participate
1591
01:20:25,759 --> 01:20:27,427
in whatever this is,
1592
01:20:27,561 --> 01:20:29,396
um, just because
of a few bad people.
1593
01:20:29,529 --> 01:20:31,665
"A few bad people."
Mm-hmm.
1594
01:20:31,798 --> 01:20:35,636
[Ms. Norbury] Okay.
Well, let's unpack that.
1595
01:20:35,769 --> 01:20:38,372
I want everybody
to close your eyes.
1596
01:20:40,407 --> 01:20:41,608
And I want you
to raise your hand
1597
01:20:41,742 --> 01:20:43,777
if you have ever had
a girl say something bad
1598
01:20:43,911 --> 01:20:45,312
about you behind your back.
1599
01:20:47,081 --> 01:20:49,449
Open your eyes.
1600
01:20:52,319 --> 01:20:54,088
Now close them again.
1601
01:20:54,221 --> 01:20:56,423
This time I want you
to raise your hand
1602
01:20:56,556 --> 01:20:58,425
if you have ever said
something bad
1603
01:20:58,558 --> 01:21:00,527
about a friend
behind her back.
1604
01:21:09,302 --> 01:21:10,905
Open your eyes.
1605
01:21:14,241 --> 01:21:15,342
Hmm.
1606
01:21:15,475 --> 01:21:17,145
Seems like maybe
we could take a break
1607
01:21:17,277 --> 01:21:20,114
from being victims
in this situation
1608
01:21:20,247 --> 01:21:21,983
and start taking
responsibility
1609
01:21:22,116 --> 01:21:23,750
for our own actions.
1610
01:21:23,885 --> 01:21:26,286
Okay, we're gonna write out
some apologies
1611
01:21:26,420 --> 01:21:28,689
to people that we've hurt
in our lives.
1612
01:21:28,823 --> 01:21:30,323
Everybody up.
1613
01:21:32,693 --> 01:21:34,829
[softly]
I'm gonna kill you.
1614
01:21:34,962 --> 01:21:37,698
'Cause one thing
I know for sure, guys:
1615
01:21:37,832 --> 01:21:41,668
Calling someone "ugly" is not
gonna make you better looking.
1616
01:21:41,802 --> 01:21:45,338
Calling somebody else "stupid"
does not make you any smarter.
1617
01:21:45,472 --> 01:21:48,076
And we as women have
to be able to trust
1618
01:21:48,208 --> 01:21:50,777
and support each other.
1619
01:21:50,912 --> 01:21:51,946
Like this.
1620
01:21:53,747 --> 01:21:55,415
[students gasp]
1621
01:21:55,549 --> 01:21:57,151
Okay, that was good.
That was really good.
1622
01:21:57,284 --> 01:21:59,619
That could have
really backfired.
1623
01:21:59,753 --> 01:22:00,922
Alyssa,
1624
01:22:01,055 --> 01:22:02,957
I'm sorry I said you look
like you comb your hair
1625
01:22:03,091 --> 01:22:04,324
with a chicken bone.
1626
01:22:05,993 --> 01:22:08,228
I know you're vegetarian.
1627
01:22:09,763 --> 01:22:11,199
[yelps]
1628
01:22:11,331 --> 01:22:14,468
Gretchen, I'm sorry I
laughed at you that time
you got diarrhea
1629
01:22:14,601 --> 01:22:16,603
on the Ferris wheel.
1630
01:22:16,737 --> 01:22:18,705
And I'm sorry
for repeating it now.
1631
01:22:18,840 --> 01:22:21,008
And I'm sorry to the people
who were below us.
1632
01:22:21,142 --> 01:22:22,442
[students snicker]
1633
01:22:23,177 --> 01:22:24,112
[students gasp]
1634
01:22:24,244 --> 01:22:25,345
Soona,
1635
01:22:25,479 --> 01:22:27,181
I'm sorry I said
you were dragging
1636
01:22:27,314 --> 01:22:29,282
during "Revenge Party."
1637
01:22:29,416 --> 01:22:31,152
There was just, like,
so much pressure on us
1638
01:22:31,284 --> 01:22:33,020
to move the story forward
through montage.
1639
01:22:33,154 --> 01:22:34,122
Like, you know how it is.
1640
01:22:34,254 --> 01:22:36,490
What is going on?
1641
01:22:36,623 --> 01:22:37,758
Don't worry about it.
1642
01:22:37,892 --> 01:22:39,827
I just wish
we could all get along
1643
01:22:39,961 --> 01:22:42,196
like we used to
in elementary school.
1644
01:22:42,329 --> 01:22:44,564
[cries] I wish
I could bake a cake
1645
01:22:44,698 --> 01:22:47,869
made out of rainbows
and smiles.
1646
01:22:48,002 --> 01:22:50,537
Then we could all eat it
and be happy.
1647
01:22:50,670 --> 01:22:53,306
She don't even go here!
1648
01:22:54,274 --> 01:22:55,943
Do you go to this school?
1649
01:22:56,077 --> 01:22:58,478
I'm here for a track meet.
1650
01:22:58,612 --> 01:23:00,747
I just have a lot of feelings!
[crying]
1651
01:23:00,882 --> 01:23:02,984
Okay, sweetheart,
you got to go home.
1652
01:23:05,019 --> 01:23:06,553
Come on, we're gonna...
[student] Oh, thank you.
1653
01:23:06,686 --> 01:23:08,522
...we're gonna call
your grown-up.
1654
01:23:09,090 --> 01:23:10,423
My turn, I guess.
1655
01:23:10,557 --> 01:23:12,425
Watch, this is either gonna be
some really crappy art
1656
01:23:12,559 --> 01:23:13,961
or really good fire.
1657
01:23:14,095 --> 01:23:15,830
[students laughing]
1658
01:23:21,401 --> 01:23:23,171
Okay, sure.
1659
01:23:23,303 --> 01:23:25,338
I have an apology.
1660
01:23:26,473 --> 01:23:28,375
My friend and I thought
it would be fun
1661
01:23:28,508 --> 01:23:31,279
to mess up
Regina George's life.
1662
01:23:31,411 --> 01:23:33,480
So we got
these candy-bar things
1663
01:23:33,613 --> 01:23:35,216
to make her gain weight...
[students gasp]
1664
01:23:35,348 --> 01:23:38,085
...and we told her lard
was face cream.
1665
01:23:38,219 --> 01:23:39,386
[students laughing]
1666
01:23:39,519 --> 01:23:42,756
And we turned her best friends
against her.
1667
01:23:43,557 --> 01:23:45,226
And then my friend Cady...
1668
01:23:45,358 --> 01:23:47,727
Yeah, you all know
my friend Cady.
1669
01:23:47,862 --> 01:23:52,766
She got Regina's boyfriend
to dump her!
1670
01:23:52,900 --> 01:23:54,534
[students] Oh!
[Janis chuckles]
1671
01:23:54,668 --> 01:23:55,837
And it turns out,
1672
01:23:55,970 --> 01:23:57,939
Cady's actually
just as selfish
1673
01:23:58,072 --> 01:24:00,808
and phony as Regina George.
1674
01:24:02,310 --> 01:24:04,544
So this apology is to myself.
1675
01:24:05,579 --> 01:24:07,614
Because I should've
known better.
1676
01:24:08,950 --> 01:24:10,517
♪ So your best friend
Screwed you over ♪
1677
01:24:10,650 --> 01:24:12,320
♪ Acted nice when
She's not nice ♪
1678
01:24:12,452 --> 01:24:14,055
♪ Well, I have some advice ♪
1679
01:24:14,188 --> 01:24:16,023
♪ 'Cause it's happened
To me twice ♪
1680
01:24:16,157 --> 01:24:19,260
♪ Here's my secret strategy
It always works because ♪
1681
01:24:19,392 --> 01:24:22,395
♪ The world doesn't end
It just feels like it does ♪
1682
01:24:22,529 --> 01:24:25,565
♪ Just raise your right finger ♪
1683
01:24:25,699 --> 01:24:29,837
♪ And solemnly swear ♪
1684
01:24:29,971 --> 01:24:33,207
♪ Whatever they say about me ♪
1685
01:24:33,341 --> 01:24:36,376
♪ I don't care ♪
1686
01:24:36,509 --> 01:24:38,511
♪ I won't twist in knots
To join your game ♪
1687
01:24:38,645 --> 01:24:40,380
♪ I will say
"You make me mad" ♪
1688
01:24:40,513 --> 01:24:43,550
♪ And if you treat me bad
I'll say, "You're bad" ♪
1689
01:24:43,683 --> 01:24:45,518
♪ If I eat alone
From this moment on ♪
1690
01:24:45,652 --> 01:24:47,255
♪ That's just what I'll do ♪
1691
01:24:47,387 --> 01:24:50,590
♪ 'Cause I'd rather be me
I'd rather be me ♪
1692
01:24:50,724 --> 01:24:53,261
♪ I'd rather be me ♪
1693
01:24:53,393 --> 01:24:55,897
♪ Than be with you ♪
1694
01:25:01,168 --> 01:25:02,837
♪ We're supposed
To all be ladies ♪
1695
01:25:02,970 --> 01:25:04,738
♪ And be nurturing and care ♪
1696
01:25:04,872 --> 01:25:06,240
♪ Is that really fair? ♪
1697
01:25:06,374 --> 01:25:08,075
♪ Boys get to fight
We have to share ♪
1698
01:25:08,209 --> 01:25:09,442
♪ Here's the way that
That turns out ♪
1699
01:25:09,576 --> 01:25:11,345
♪ We always understand ♪
1700
01:25:11,478 --> 01:25:14,547
♪ How to slap someone down
With our underhand ♪
1701
01:25:14,681 --> 01:25:18,386
♪ So here is my right finger ♪
1702
01:25:18,518 --> 01:25:21,822
♪ To how girls should behave ♪
1703
01:25:21,956 --> 01:25:25,492
♪ 'Cause sometimes
What's meant to break you ♪
1704
01:25:25,625 --> 01:25:28,628
♪ Makes you brave ♪
1705
01:25:28,762 --> 01:25:32,033
♪ So I will not act all innocent
I won't fake apologize ♪
1706
01:25:32,166 --> 01:25:33,868
♪ Let's just fight
And then make up ♪
1707
01:25:34,001 --> 01:25:35,802
♪ Not tell these lies ♪
1708
01:25:35,937 --> 01:25:37,604
♪ Let's call our damage even ♪
1709
01:25:37,737 --> 01:25:39,439
♪ Clean the slate
Till it's like new ♪
1710
01:25:39,572 --> 01:25:42,843
♪ It's a new life for me
Where I'd rather be me ♪
1711
01:25:42,977 --> 01:25:45,445
♪ I'd rather be me ♪
1712
01:25:45,578 --> 01:25:47,915
♪ Than be with you ♪
1713
01:25:49,383 --> 01:25:51,118
♪ I'll say, "No" ♪
♪ No! ♪
1714
01:25:51,252 --> 01:25:52,752
♪ I'll say, "Knock it off
With your notes ♪
1715
01:25:52,887 --> 01:25:54,822
♪ And your rules
And your games" ♪
1716
01:25:54,956 --> 01:25:56,958
♪ And those sycophants
Who follow you
I'll remember all their names ♪
1717
01:25:57,091 --> 01:26:00,194
♪ And when they drag you down
Like they inevitably do ♪
1718
01:26:00,328 --> 01:26:02,063
♪ I will not laugh along
With them ♪
1719
01:26:02,196 --> 01:26:03,530
♪ And approve
Their palace coup ♪
1720
01:26:03,663 --> 01:26:05,565
♪ 'Cause that's not me ♪
1721
01:26:07,301 --> 01:26:08,869
♪ I don't need
Their good opinions ♪
1722
01:26:09,003 --> 01:26:11,005
♪ I've got plenty of opinions ♪
1723
01:26:11,138 --> 01:26:14,175
♪ Every asshole has opinions
But it doesn't make 'em true ♪
1724
01:26:14,308 --> 01:26:17,744
♪ What's true is being me
And I'd rather be me ♪
1725
01:26:17,878 --> 01:26:20,147
♪ I'd rather be me ♪
1726
01:26:20,281 --> 01:26:22,984
♪ Than be with you ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
1727
01:26:24,285 --> 01:26:28,189
♪ So raise 'em high
'Cause playing nice and shy ♪
1728
01:26:28,322 --> 01:26:32,360
♪ Is insulting my IQ ♪
1729
01:26:32,492 --> 01:26:35,930
♪ I'd rather be me
I'd rather be me ♪
1730
01:26:36,063 --> 01:26:39,467
♪ I'd rather be me
Than be with you ♪
1731
01:26:39,599 --> 01:26:41,035
Walk away, turd.
1732
01:26:41,168 --> 01:26:43,871
Regina, I'm so sorry!
I didn't mean to hurt you!
1733
01:26:44,005 --> 01:26:46,273
You are
a lowlife version of me...
1734
01:26:46,407 --> 01:26:49,877
♪ I'd rather be me
I'd rather be me ♪
1735
01:26:50,011 --> 01:26:55,349
♪ I'd rather be me
Than be with ♪
1736
01:26:55,483 --> 01:26:59,020
♪ You! ♪
1737
01:27:07,028 --> 01:27:10,031
And that's how
Regina George died.
1738
01:27:10,164 --> 01:27:13,401
Again, no one died!
1739
01:27:13,533 --> 01:27:16,404
I mean, technically, Regina
did die for, like, 15 seconds
1740
01:27:16,536 --> 01:27:18,139
but then she was revived.
1741
01:27:18,272 --> 01:27:21,308
And of course,
the rumor mill
started going insane.
1742
01:27:21,442 --> 01:27:23,710
I just saw
Regina get hit by a bus.
1743
01:27:23,844 --> 01:27:26,213
An artery come out
of her neck and her head
went all the way around!
1744
01:27:26,347 --> 01:27:27,848
Guys, street safety
is so important.
1745
01:27:27,982 --> 01:27:29,984
I'm just sad, like,
that's all I can say.
1746
01:27:33,888 --> 01:27:35,622
We are sending
our love and prayers...
1747
01:27:35,755 --> 01:27:37,958
Link in bio to my GoFundMe
page to raise money.
1748
01:27:38,092 --> 01:27:39,360
Regina, we knew
you would pull through.
1749
01:27:39,493 --> 01:27:40,828
How do I get this
off my algorithm?
1750
01:27:40,961 --> 01:27:42,562
I'm not one
to spread rumors,
1751
01:27:42,695 --> 01:27:44,865
but I'm pretty sure I saw Cady
push her right in front of it.
1752
01:27:44,999 --> 01:27:46,834
On my life, Cady pushed her.
1753
01:27:46,967 --> 01:27:49,236
I literally saw Cady
push Regina.
1754
01:27:49,370 --> 01:27:51,172
Don't fill up my comments,
but... karma.
1755
01:27:51,305 --> 01:27:54,475
Girls are made deranged
by what's called hormones.
1756
01:27:54,607 --> 01:27:55,742
Hormones.
1757
01:27:55,876 --> 01:28:00,580
W-H-O-R...
[laughing]
1758
01:28:06,120 --> 01:28:08,688
F that bitch.
[student 3] F that wench.
1759
01:28:15,830 --> 01:28:17,164
All right.
1760
01:28:17,298 --> 01:28:21,402
Ms. Norbury is on a, uh,
temporary leave of absence.
1761
01:28:21,535 --> 01:28:22,937
Jail.
Hey.
1762
01:28:23,070 --> 01:28:25,705
I heard that, Miss Rockwell.
1763
01:28:25,840 --> 01:28:28,442
Anyways, we're not sure
who your substitute...
1764
01:28:28,576 --> 01:28:30,610
I did it.
1765
01:28:32,480 --> 01:28:35,883
I wrote that Ms. Norbury is
a drug pusher, and it's a lie.
1766
01:28:46,093 --> 01:28:48,963
Three-week suspension.
[sighs]
1767
01:28:49,096 --> 01:28:52,433
This is not
who I know you to be.
1768
01:28:52,566 --> 01:28:53,733
I know.
1769
01:28:57,737 --> 01:28:59,039
Where is my Ndebele vase?
1770
01:28:59,173 --> 01:29:02,076
What?
[Ms. Heron]
What do you mean, what?
1771
01:29:02,209 --> 01:29:05,112
You know, the colorful vase
that's always in that window.
1772
01:29:05,246 --> 01:29:06,713
Where is it?
1773
01:29:07,414 --> 01:29:09,682
[teenagers clamoring]
1774
01:29:10,918 --> 01:29:13,921
I had some friends over
when you were away.
1775
01:29:14,054 --> 01:29:15,156
Go.
1776
01:29:15,289 --> 01:29:16,656
Go do your homework!
1777
01:29:16,789 --> 01:29:18,959
Um, also...
1778
01:29:20,194 --> 01:29:22,563
I need you to sign
my Calculus test,
1779
01:29:22,695 --> 01:29:24,064
'cause I'm failing.
1780
01:29:55,029 --> 01:29:56,363
Hey.
1781
01:29:56,497 --> 01:29:59,833
I guess you'll need this back
to set an alarm for tomorrow.
1782
01:30:00,467 --> 01:30:01,902
Don't want it.
1783
01:30:02,036 --> 01:30:04,104
You only have one message.
1784
01:30:04,238 --> 01:30:06,840
From someone named Karen,
who says:
1785
01:30:06,974 --> 01:30:10,277
"Donut worry.
I am still your freend."
1786
01:30:14,582 --> 01:30:16,650
How bad is it gonna
be tomorrow?
1787
01:30:16,783 --> 01:30:18,452
I was thinking maybe
I should go back
1788
01:30:18,586 --> 01:30:19,987
to being homeschooled.
1789
01:30:20,120 --> 01:30:21,088
Sweetie, no.
1790
01:30:21,222 --> 01:30:22,856
It's too small, me and you.
1791
01:30:22,990 --> 01:30:24,825
And I think
you're learning things now
1792
01:30:24,959 --> 01:30:27,027
that I don't know
how to teach.
1793
01:30:33,234 --> 01:30:34,767
Good night.
1794
01:30:35,603 --> 01:30:37,404
Mom?
Hmm?
1795
01:30:39,006 --> 01:30:43,277
Can you sit with me
till I fall asleep?
1796
01:30:43,911 --> 01:30:45,112
Mm-hmm.
1797
01:30:56,457 --> 01:30:58,758
Oh, sweetie.
[crying]
1798
01:31:00,227 --> 01:31:01,362
[sniffles]
1799
01:31:06,000 --> 01:31:08,168
[breath trembling]
1800
01:31:18,812 --> 01:31:21,115
Oh, hi. Did you want
to buy some drugs?
1801
01:31:21,248 --> 01:31:23,951
No, I was just handing
my quiz back.
1802
01:31:24,084 --> 01:31:26,786
You know, when the police
tore apart my house
1803
01:31:26,920 --> 01:31:28,355
looking for imaginary heroin,
1804
01:31:28,489 --> 01:31:31,492
I found this old calculator
that I thought I lost, so...
1805
01:31:31,625 --> 01:31:33,227
totally worth it.
1806
01:31:33,927 --> 01:31:35,262
I'm really sorry.
1807
01:31:35,396 --> 01:31:36,630
Thank you.
1808
01:31:36,764 --> 01:31:38,732
But I know you didn't write
that whole book yourself.
1809
01:31:38,866 --> 01:31:40,367
You gonna tell Mr. Duvall
who did?
1810
01:31:41,602 --> 01:31:42,802
No.
1811
01:31:42,936 --> 01:31:44,872
Trying this new thing
where I don't talk
1812
01:31:45,005 --> 01:31:46,307
about people
behind their backs.
1813
01:31:46,440 --> 01:31:49,977
Getting hit by a bus seems
like enough punishment.
1814
01:31:51,045 --> 01:31:53,514
100.
Welcome back, nerd.
1815
01:31:55,282 --> 01:31:57,718
Will you be attending
the Spring Fling this weekend?
1816
01:31:57,851 --> 01:31:59,987
No. Everyone hates me.
1817
01:32:00,120 --> 01:32:02,389
Perfect, because
I figured out a way for you
1818
01:32:02,523 --> 01:32:03,657
to earn some extra credit.
1819
01:32:03,791 --> 01:32:05,292
Hey, Bird,
you ready to suit up
1820
01:32:05,426 --> 01:32:07,361
and show off
your math schquills?
1821
01:32:07,494 --> 01:32:09,396
Kev, stop trying
to make "schquills" happen.
It's not gonna happen.
1822
01:32:09,530 --> 01:32:12,933
Jacob, get off my dick.
Hey! PG-13, please.
1823
01:32:24,278 --> 01:32:26,380
[drumroll]
1824
01:32:26,513 --> 01:32:28,182
[guitar strums]
1825
01:32:28,982 --> 01:32:30,217
[cymbal crashes]
1826
01:32:30,351 --> 01:32:32,920
Welcome to the ICMT
State Math Championships.
1827
01:32:33,053 --> 01:32:34,823
Sponsored by SeatGeek.
1828
01:32:34,955 --> 01:32:36,357
Yeah, SeatGeek!
1829
01:32:36,490 --> 01:32:38,058
Tonight will be
the culmination
1830
01:32:38,192 --> 01:32:40,994
of all you've worked for.
[playing soulful tune]
1831
01:32:41,128 --> 01:32:43,063
Each right answer
will be worth two points.
1832
01:32:43,197 --> 01:32:46,835
The highest score at the end
of 40 minutes of play wins.
1833
01:32:46,967 --> 01:32:50,037
As always, no calculators.
1834
01:32:51,071 --> 01:32:53,907
Question one.
Two, three, four!
1835
01:32:58,879 --> 01:33:01,949
Determine the equation of
the tangent line to the graph.
1836
01:33:02,082 --> 01:33:03,150
[buzzer buzzes]
1837
01:33:03,283 --> 01:33:05,319
The answer is B.
[moderator] Correct.
1838
01:33:05,452 --> 01:33:08,322
Solve the equation above
using prime numbers.
1839
01:33:08,455 --> 01:33:10,624
[Marymount captain]
Prime factor 41.
1840
01:33:10,758 --> 01:33:12,059
Correct.
1841
01:33:12,192 --> 01:33:13,862
Please solve for x.
[buzzer buzzes]
1842
01:33:13,994 --> 01:33:16,096
x = 2?
[moderator] Incorrect.
1843
01:33:16,230 --> 01:33:17,866
x is greater
than the value of y.
1844
01:33:17,998 --> 01:33:19,967
Correct.
1845
01:33:21,201 --> 01:33:23,303
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1846
01:33:23,437 --> 01:33:26,106
♪ I didn't get it ♪
1847
01:33:26,240 --> 01:33:30,344
♪ I didn't get it, somehow ♪
1848
01:33:30,477 --> 01:33:34,314
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
1849
01:33:34,448 --> 01:33:36,617
♪ I didn't get it ♪
1850
01:33:36,750 --> 01:33:37,785
[buzzer buzzes]
Negative two!
1851
01:33:37,918 --> 01:33:38,853
Correct.
1852
01:33:38,986 --> 01:33:40,954
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1853
01:33:42,489 --> 01:33:44,792
♪ Whoa-oa-oa
Stupid with love ♪
[buzzer buzzes]
1854
01:33:44,925 --> 01:33:47,327
= mx c.
Correct.
1855
01:33:47,461 --> 01:33:49,596
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1856
01:33:51,265 --> 01:33:52,834
♪ Whoa-oa-oa
Stupid with love ♪
1857
01:33:52,966 --> 01:33:54,301
Both polynomials
are second degree,
1858
01:33:54,435 --> 01:33:55,969
so the asymptote is at y = 5.
1859
01:33:56,103 --> 01:33:57,538
Excellent.
1860
01:33:57,671 --> 01:33:59,239
♪ I feel my brain
Begin to rust ♪
1861
01:33:59,373 --> 01:34:01,375
♪ I am filled with calcu-lust ♪
1862
01:34:01,508 --> 01:34:03,343
♪ Does this guy work out?
He must ♪
1863
01:34:03,477 --> 01:34:05,546
♪ All sweaty at the gym ♪
1864
01:34:05,679 --> 01:34:09,783
♪ Could that image be more hot?
Let me just enjoy
That thought ♪
1865
01:34:09,918 --> 01:34:11,185
♪ School was rough ♪
[Regina groans in pain]
1866
01:34:11,318 --> 01:34:12,286
♪ But now it's not ♪
1867
01:34:12,419 --> 01:34:13,520
[buzzer buzzes]
Negative four?
1868
01:34:13,654 --> 01:34:14,823
[buzzer buzzes]
True.
1869
01:34:14,955 --> 01:34:15,989
29?
1870
01:34:16,123 --> 01:34:17,124
The slope is zero.
1871
01:34:17,257 --> 01:34:18,392
Incorrect.
[buzzer buzzes]
1872
01:34:18,525 --> 01:34:19,993
The slope
of the tangent line is four.
1873
01:34:20,127 --> 01:34:22,696
Excellent.
[music halts]
1874
01:34:22,831 --> 01:34:25,399
Well, this has only ever
happened once before.
1875
01:34:25,532 --> 01:34:28,735
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a tie.
1876
01:34:31,004 --> 01:34:32,239
In the event of a tie,
1877
01:34:32,372 --> 01:34:34,943
we move into a one-on-one
sudden-death round
1878
01:34:35,075 --> 01:34:37,311
where each team
may choose their opponent.
1879
01:34:43,750 --> 01:34:45,352
We pick the girl.
1880
01:34:46,955 --> 01:34:48,689
We pick the girl, too.
1881
01:34:51,358 --> 01:34:53,828
Ms. Krafft, Ms. Heron,
please step forward.
1882
01:35:00,400 --> 01:35:03,403
[band vocalizing]
1883
01:35:10,410 --> 01:35:13,313
Nice to meet you.
Whatever, slut.
1884
01:35:13,447 --> 01:35:17,217
Contestants, please find
the limit of this expression.
1885
01:35:21,588 --> 01:35:23,524
You know,
it's not me against you.
1886
01:35:23,657 --> 01:35:27,227
It's North Shore
versus Marymount.
1887
01:35:28,128 --> 01:35:29,998
A very wise teacher...
[buzzer buzzes]
1888
01:35:30,130 --> 01:35:31,698
The limit is negative one.
1889
01:35:33,100 --> 01:35:35,068
That answer is incorrect.
1890
01:35:37,070 --> 01:35:40,073
If Ms. Heron
can answer correctly,
we have a winner.
1891
01:35:40,207 --> 01:35:42,743
You got this, Golf Bird.
[Cady chuckles lightly]
1892
01:35:42,877 --> 01:35:45,947
Why can't I remember
anything about limits?
1893
01:35:46,079 --> 01:35:48,248
Honey, I don't know your life.
1894
01:35:49,583 --> 01:35:51,585
Why did you waste time
insulting me?
1895
01:35:51,718 --> 01:35:53,720
Why did I waste time
judging your hair?
1896
01:35:53,855 --> 01:35:55,589
This is not a competition.
1897
01:35:56,290 --> 01:35:58,058
It kind of is, though.
1898
01:35:58,191 --> 01:35:59,827
Right.
1899
01:36:00,727 --> 01:36:02,195
A math one.
1900
01:36:03,363 --> 01:36:05,432
♪ I was stupid ♪
1901
01:36:06,400 --> 01:36:07,936
♪ But now I get it ♪
1902
01:36:08,068 --> 01:36:12,205
♪ No what ifs, might haves
Could have been if I had ♪
1903
01:36:12,339 --> 01:36:14,508
♪ Only tried, not held back ♪
1904
01:36:14,641 --> 01:36:16,777
♪ That's not a part of my plan ♪
1905
01:36:16,911 --> 01:36:18,846
♪ I see the things
That I missed ♪
1906
01:36:18,980 --> 01:36:21,148
♪ No, that's not the me
That I am ♪
1907
01:36:21,281 --> 01:36:24,618
♪ The limit
It doesn't exist! ♪
[buzzer buzzes]
1908
01:36:25,452 --> 01:36:27,120
The limit does not exist.
1909
01:36:27,254 --> 01:36:30,123
Our new state champions,
the North Shore Mathletes.
1910
01:36:30,257 --> 01:36:31,658
[cheering, laughing]
1911
01:36:31,792 --> 01:36:33,360
[cheering]
1912
01:36:34,394 --> 01:36:35,863
Yeah, you like that,
Marymount?
1913
01:36:35,997 --> 01:36:38,198
Get some! Get some!
1914
01:36:38,332 --> 01:36:39,968
Don't hold me back!
Don't hold me back!
1915
01:36:40,100 --> 01:36:41,936
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1916
01:36:42,603 --> 01:36:44,338
♪ But now I get it ♪
1917
01:36:44,471 --> 01:36:46,808
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1918
01:36:46,941 --> 01:36:48,943
♪ But now I get it ♪
1919
01:36:49,077 --> 01:36:50,777
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1920
01:36:50,912 --> 01:36:54,348
♪ But now I get it
Stupid! ♪
1921
01:36:54,816 --> 01:36:55,682
Have you seen Jason?
1922
01:36:55,817 --> 01:36:57,952
Like right now
or like ever in life?
1923
01:36:58,086 --> 01:36:59,419
Ohhh, miss!
1924
01:36:59,553 --> 01:37:01,755
I'm supposed to hang
with my fallback in there
1925
01:37:01,889 --> 01:37:03,357
but, you know,
if you wanted to slip out,
1926
01:37:03,490 --> 01:37:05,692
meet in my Jeep or...
Jason!
1927
01:37:05,827 --> 01:37:07,061
It's me!
1928
01:37:07,194 --> 01:37:08,462
"Fallback"?
1929
01:37:08,595 --> 01:37:10,865
No, I... I know.
Yeah, I knew the whole time.
1930
01:37:10,999 --> 01:37:12,967
No, we are done!
1931
01:37:13,101 --> 01:37:14,134
Because you know what?
1932
01:37:14,267 --> 01:37:18,138
I have a 140 IQ,
very toned legs,
1933
01:37:18,271 --> 01:37:20,207
and my parents love me!
1934
01:37:20,340 --> 01:37:22,275
And you will regret this
when you're old
1935
01:37:22,409 --> 01:37:24,678
because I am fricking fetch!
1936
01:37:24,812 --> 01:37:27,748
That's how you use it.
Come on.
1937
01:37:28,215 --> 01:37:29,483
[chattering]
1938
01:37:29,616 --> 01:37:31,718
Okay, attention, everybody.
1939
01:37:32,519 --> 01:37:35,656
Whoo-hoo-hoo,
let's go!
1940
01:37:39,359 --> 01:37:40,594
[water running]
1941
01:37:42,930 --> 01:37:44,164
Regina!
1942
01:37:46,968 --> 01:37:48,602
You look pretty.
1943
01:37:50,704 --> 01:37:53,240
I'm wearing
a corrective neck collar.
1944
01:37:59,246 --> 01:38:02,616
I'm sorry about the bus.
I feel like it's all my fault.
1945
01:38:02,749 --> 01:38:04,952
No... No, it's not your fault.
1946
01:38:05,086 --> 01:38:07,721
Cady, don't apologize for
things that aren't your fault.
1947
01:38:07,855 --> 01:38:10,657
But, yeah,
I forgive you, 'cause...
1948
01:38:12,359 --> 01:38:14,128
I'm on a lot
of pain medication right now.
1949
01:38:14,261 --> 01:38:16,931
You know I died
for 15 seconds?
1950
01:38:17,065 --> 01:38:18,298
Yeah.
1951
01:38:19,599 --> 01:38:23,704
Anyway, my mom was really
pumped to be on the news.
1952
01:38:23,838 --> 01:38:24,738
[both chuckle]
1953
01:38:24,872 --> 01:38:26,306
It's weird
when people treat you
1954
01:38:26,440 --> 01:38:27,541
like you're famous
or something.
1955
01:38:30,178 --> 01:38:31,645
Until it's not.
1956
01:38:33,081 --> 01:38:37,417
Look, I...
I know I have to change.
1957
01:38:38,318 --> 01:38:40,353
And I was harsh.
1958
01:38:40,487 --> 01:38:41,956
And people say
that I'm a bitch.
1959
01:38:42,090 --> 01:38:44,859
You know what they would
call me if I was a boy?
1960
01:38:44,992 --> 01:38:47,627
Strong.
"Reginald."
1961
01:38:47,761 --> 01:38:51,565
That's what my mom was gonna
name me if I was a boy, so...
1962
01:38:51,698 --> 01:38:54,902
Honestly,
I would rather be "bitch."
1963
01:38:55,837 --> 01:38:57,337
[Regina laughs]
1964
01:39:00,808 --> 01:39:02,642
I like you.
1965
01:39:02,776 --> 01:39:05,545
But this medicine
makes me like everyone, so...
1966
01:39:05,679 --> 01:39:07,781
Okay,
do we have all of our nominees
1967
01:39:07,915 --> 01:39:10,517
for the Spring Fling
King and Queen onstage?
1968
01:39:10,650 --> 01:39:12,786
I just want to say
you're all winners.
1969
01:39:12,920 --> 01:39:18,159
And I am retiring as soon
as this evening is over.
1970
01:39:18,291 --> 01:39:19,426
[drumroll]
1971
01:39:19,559 --> 01:39:22,230
The winner
of the Spring Fling King is...
1972
01:39:22,395 --> 01:39:24,098
Shane Oman.
1973
01:39:24,232 --> 01:39:26,100
[all cheering]
1974
01:39:26,234 --> 01:39:27,935
Whoo! Yeah!
1975
01:39:31,239 --> 01:39:32,472
Hey.
1976
01:39:33,941 --> 01:39:35,843
Um, have you seen Janis?
1977
01:39:35,977 --> 01:39:37,845
Every day since 2009.
1978
01:39:37,979 --> 01:39:39,446
But she doesn't want
to see you.
1979
01:39:39,579 --> 01:39:42,150
And
your Spring Fling Queen...
1980
01:39:42,282 --> 01:39:44,785
Damian, I'm...
I'm really sorry.
1981
01:39:44,919 --> 01:39:47,255
Cady Heron.
[all gasp]
1982
01:39:47,387 --> 01:39:49,824
What?
I mean, of course she is.
1983
01:39:49,957 --> 01:39:52,325
[mathletes cheering]
[students applauding]
1984
01:39:52,459 --> 01:39:54,327
Go, Cady!
1985
01:39:55,796 --> 01:39:56,998
Where is Cady?
1986
01:40:11,444 --> 01:40:12,847
Congratulations.
1987
01:40:16,851 --> 01:40:17,885
Um...
1988
01:40:19,053 --> 01:40:20,720
I think people voted for me
1989
01:40:20,855 --> 01:40:22,322
because they think
I pushed someone
1990
01:40:22,455 --> 01:40:23,623
in front of a bus.
1991
01:40:23,757 --> 01:40:27,327
It's not your fault.
A bus pushed me.
1992
01:40:30,998 --> 01:40:34,101
But what is my fault is
1993
01:40:34,235 --> 01:40:35,870
the way I treated my friends.
1994
01:40:37,305 --> 01:40:40,740
I used you and I lied to you
and I'm... I'm so sorry.
1995
01:40:44,145 --> 01:40:46,546
I'm also sorry to everyone
1996
01:40:46,680 --> 01:40:48,615
whose feelings got hurt
from the Burn Book.
1997
01:40:48,748 --> 01:40:50,284
You know,
it's really not required
1998
01:40:50,417 --> 01:40:51,785
for you to make a speech.
1999
01:40:51,919 --> 01:40:54,188
Right. Almost done,
I promise. Um...
2000
01:40:55,122 --> 01:40:58,960
I think everyone looks
like royalty tonight.
2001
01:40:59,093 --> 01:41:04,932
It just seems weird
for one person to win this.
2002
01:41:07,434 --> 01:41:10,370
I mean,
it's just a chunk of plastic.
2003
01:41:12,372 --> 01:41:14,976
We could just share it.
2004
01:41:15,109 --> 01:41:16,911
[all gasp]
2005
01:41:18,846 --> 01:41:22,984
♪ Cheap, fake
Easy to break ♪
2006
01:41:23,117 --> 01:41:26,053
♪ That's how I used to be ♪
2007
01:41:26,187 --> 01:41:28,688
Here... Take it.
2008
01:41:28,823 --> 01:41:30,992
♪ Now I'm awake ♪
2009
01:41:31,125 --> 01:41:33,727
♪ I'll tell you what I see ♪
2010
01:41:33,861 --> 01:41:36,763
♪ Plastic don't shine
Glitter don't shine ♪
2011
01:41:36,898 --> 01:41:40,868
♪ Rhinestones don't shine
The way you do ♪
2012
01:41:41,002 --> 01:41:44,171
♪ You are so real
You are so rare ♪
2013
01:41:44,305 --> 01:41:47,074
♪ I see you there ♪
[piece clatters]
2014
01:41:47,208 --> 01:41:50,644
♪ I see you ♪
2015
01:41:50,777 --> 01:41:52,880
♪ I see stars ♪
2016
01:41:53,014 --> 01:41:56,384
♪ So many stars tonight ♪
2017
01:41:56,516 --> 01:42:00,553
♪ You could make diamonds dull ♪
2018
01:42:00,687 --> 01:42:04,292
♪ You are so beautiful ♪
2019
01:42:04,424 --> 01:42:06,994
♪ I see stars ♪
2020
01:42:07,128 --> 01:42:10,697
♪ You shine as bright as day ♪
2021
01:42:10,831 --> 01:42:13,834
♪ I will look out for you ♪
2022
01:42:13,968 --> 01:42:17,671
♪ We'll light each other's way ♪
2023
01:42:17,804 --> 01:42:22,109
♪ You're all stars ♪
2024
01:42:23,777 --> 01:42:25,445
All right,
have a good time, everyone.
2025
01:42:25,578 --> 01:42:26,479
No vaping.
2026
01:42:26,613 --> 01:42:27,681
Rachel Hamilton!
2027
01:42:27,815 --> 01:42:29,050
Give me that inhaler.
2028
01:42:43,697 --> 01:42:45,465
Are you still mad at me?
2029
01:42:45,598 --> 01:42:48,102
I don't know.
Are you still an asshole?
2030
01:42:48,802 --> 01:42:50,537
I don't think so?
2031
01:42:56,609 --> 01:42:58,145
Cute.
[chuckles]
2032
01:42:59,679 --> 01:43:02,249
♪ Wherever darkness falls ♪
2033
01:43:02,383 --> 01:43:07,421
♪ I'll be the light ♪
2034
01:43:07,554 --> 01:43:11,092
♪ To guide you home ♪
2035
01:43:11,225 --> 01:43:13,294
She sounds good.
2036
01:43:14,095 --> 01:43:16,596
But she does not
go here, y'all.
2037
01:43:16,730 --> 01:43:19,766
Would you look over there?
Oh, my gosh!
2038
01:43:21,836 --> 01:43:24,171
Do you want to dance?
Yeah.
2039
01:43:25,572 --> 01:43:26,941
[both chuckle]
2040
01:43:28,809 --> 01:43:31,778
Congrats on winning state.
The jacket looks, uh,
really good on you.
2041
01:43:31,912 --> 01:43:35,515
Thanks. It has a pocket inside
for a calculator.
2042
01:43:35,648 --> 01:43:36,951
What?
Yeah.
2043
01:43:37,084 --> 01:43:38,085
Grool.
2044
01:43:39,519 --> 01:43:40,988
Grool.
2045
01:43:43,523 --> 01:43:46,626
♪ You stars ♪
2046
01:43:46,760 --> 01:43:50,297
♪ So many stars tonight ♪
2047
01:43:50,431 --> 01:43:53,000
♪ I see stars ♪
2048
01:43:53,134 --> 01:43:54,734
And that was
the first time in history
2049
01:43:54,869 --> 01:43:57,138
that Spring Fling
was actually fun.
2050
01:43:57,271 --> 01:44:01,876
Ms. Norbury and
Mr. Duvall got wasted. JK, JK.
2051
01:44:02,009 --> 01:44:04,677
Karen discovered
the safe joy
2052
01:44:04,812 --> 01:44:07,781
of dancing with theater boys.
[Karen yelps]
2053
01:44:07,915 --> 01:44:11,651
And Plastics and Jocks
partied with math nerds.
2054
01:44:11,785 --> 01:44:13,320
Janis danced
to a pop song
2055
01:44:13,454 --> 01:44:15,189
and didn't burst into flames.
2056
01:44:15,856 --> 01:44:17,724
[Regina] Ow. Ow. Ow!
2057
01:44:17,858 --> 01:44:21,028
And everyone else
just kind of floated.
2058
01:44:23,197 --> 01:44:25,366
So the moral
of our story is thus:
2059
01:44:25,499 --> 01:44:27,868
Calling someone stupid
won't make you any smarter.
2060
01:44:28,002 --> 01:44:29,904
And even the people
you really don't like
2061
01:44:30,037 --> 01:44:32,506
are still people
who just want to coexist.
2062
01:44:32,639 --> 01:44:35,209
So get off their dicks!
2063
01:44:38,145 --> 01:44:40,214
♪ I see ♪
2064
01:44:40,347 --> 01:44:44,085
[all] ♪ Stars! ♪
2065
01:44:44,218 --> 01:44:45,986
[students cheering]
2066
01:44:46,120 --> 01:44:48,089
["Not My Fault" by Reneé Rapp
and Megan Thee Stallion plays]
2067
01:44:48,222 --> 01:44:49,857
♪ Where she at?
What she doing? ♪
2068
01:44:49,990 --> 01:44:51,859
♪ Who she with
And where she from? ♪
2069
01:44:51,992 --> 01:44:53,793
♪ Well, she's this
Oh, she's that ♪
2070
01:44:53,928 --> 01:44:56,030
♪ She's a flight risk
On the run ♪
2071
01:44:56,163 --> 01:44:57,865
♪ She's back, she's back ♪
2072
01:44:57,998 --> 01:44:59,766
♪ Yeah, I'm back, bitch
Are you done? ♪
2073
01:44:59,900 --> 01:45:03,504
♪ Excuse me
While I bite my tongue ♪
2074
01:45:03,636 --> 01:45:07,541
♪ I'm back on that same shit
From before ♪
2075
01:45:07,674 --> 01:45:11,278
♪ I can't take this pettiness
Now I'm bored ♪
2076
01:45:11,412 --> 01:45:15,483
♪ We can champagne
There's enough for us all ♪
2077
01:45:15,615 --> 01:45:18,486
♪ Told you who I am
And what it is
It's not my fault ♪
2078
01:45:18,618 --> 01:45:22,523
♪ It's not my fault
You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪
2079
01:45:22,655 --> 01:45:26,427
♪ It's not my fault
You've got to pay
For what I get for free ♪
2080
01:45:26,560 --> 01:45:28,395
♪ It's not my fault ♪
2081
01:45:28,529 --> 01:45:30,397
♪ You're like, you're like
You're like in love with me ♪
2082
01:45:30,531 --> 01:45:32,566
♪ It's not my fault
You're like in love with me ♪
2083
01:45:32,699 --> 01:45:34,634
♪ You're like in love with me ♪
2084
01:45:34,767 --> 01:45:38,305
♪ Get her number, get her name
Get a good thing
While you can ♪
2085
01:45:38,439 --> 01:45:42,543
♪ Kiss a blonde, kiss a friend
Can a gay girl get an amen? ♪
2086
01:45:42,675 --> 01:45:46,080
♪ I'm back on that same shit
From before ♪
2087
01:45:46,213 --> 01:45:49,984
♪ I can't take this pettiness
Now I'm bored ♪
2088
01:45:50,117 --> 01:45:54,054
♪ We can champagne
There's enough for us all ♪
2089
01:45:54,188 --> 01:45:56,223
♪ I told you who I am
And what it is ♪
2090
01:45:56,357 --> 01:45:58,658
♪ It's not my fault
It's not my fault ♪
2091
01:45:58,791 --> 01:46:01,095
♪ You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪
2092
01:46:01,228 --> 01:46:02,997
♪ It's not my fault ♪
2093
01:46:03,130 --> 01:46:05,432
♪ You've got to pay
For what I get for free ♪
2094
01:46:05,566 --> 01:46:09,103
♪ It's not my fault
You're like, you're like
You're like in love with me ♪
2095
01:46:09,236 --> 01:46:11,704
♪ It's not my fault
You're like in love with me ♪
2096
01:46:11,839 --> 01:46:13,507
♪ You're like in love with me ♪
2097
01:46:13,641 --> 01:46:15,409
♪ I mean, who wouldn't want
To be in love with me ♪
2098
01:46:15,543 --> 01:46:17,411
♪ I'm a mood board
Girls got to Pinterest me ♪
2099
01:46:17,545 --> 01:46:19,446
♪ I'm a stallion but they come
And f... me like Trojan ♪
2100
01:46:19,580 --> 01:46:21,681
♪ And it wouldn't be me
If I ain't cause commotion ♪
2101
01:46:21,815 --> 01:46:24,385
♪ I'm so bad
Dudes thought I was AI
I ballin' like AI ♪
2102
01:46:24,518 --> 01:46:26,987
♪ I stick to a whole lot
Of paper like a stapler
Stack like Jenga ♪
2103
01:46:27,121 --> 01:46:28,721
♪ And you basic bitch
Get stroke like a painter ♪
2104
01:46:28,856 --> 01:46:30,824
♪ It's funny how the mean girl
Open all the doors ♪
2105
01:46:30,958 --> 01:46:32,960
♪ I've been told y'all
I'm the black Regina George ♪
2106
01:46:33,093 --> 01:46:34,694
♪ Bikini top, booty shorts
Megan core ♪
2107
01:46:34,828 --> 01:46:36,530
♪ You was hating back then
Now you finna hate more ♪
2108
01:46:36,664 --> 01:46:38,499
♪ I got influence
They do anything I endorse ♪
2109
01:46:38,632 --> 01:46:40,935
♪ I run s...
To be a bad bitch is a sport ♪
2110
01:46:41,068 --> 01:46:43,470
♪ I woke up hotter
Than I was yesterday ♪
2111
01:46:43,604 --> 01:46:47,740
♪ Don't care about no rules
'Cause I always get my way ♪
2112
01:46:47,875 --> 01:46:49,410
♪ It's not my fault ♪
2113
01:46:49,543 --> 01:46:51,812
♪ You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪
2114
01:46:51,946 --> 01:46:55,249
♪ It's not my fault
You've got to pay
For what I get for free ♪
2115
01:46:55,382 --> 01:46:59,119
♪ It's not my fault
You're like, you're like
You're like in love with me ♪
2116
01:46:59,253 --> 01:47:02,156
♪ It's not my fault
You're like in love with me ♪
2117
01:47:02,289 --> 01:47:03,723
♪ You're like in love with me ♪
2118
01:47:03,857 --> 01:47:06,193
[cheers, applause]
2119
01:47:06,327 --> 01:47:08,596
♪ A sexy Quint
From sexy Jaws ♪
2120
01:47:08,728 --> 01:47:10,264
♪ Catching sexy sharks ♪
2121
01:47:10,397 --> 01:47:13,601
♪ Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt
Or sexy Joan of Arc ♪
2122
01:47:13,733 --> 01:47:17,504
♪ I can be a sexy pirate
Or a sexy ballet dancer ♪
2123
01:47:17,638 --> 01:47:22,309
♪ I can be a sexy doctor
And cure some sexy cancer! ♪
2124
01:47:34,154 --> 01:47:36,190
♪ Happy Halloween! ♪
2125
01:47:39,627 --> 01:47:42,896
♪ This is
Modern feminism talkin' ♪
2126
01:47:43,030 --> 01:47:46,799
♪ Watch me as I run the world
In shoes I cannot walk in ♪
2127
01:47:46,934 --> 01:47:50,137
♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
2128
01:47:50,271 --> 01:47:53,807
♪ And sex... sex ♪
2129
01:47:53,941 --> 01:47:58,679
♪ Sexy! ♪
2130
01:47:58,812 --> 01:48:01,181
I'm a sexy mouse. Duh!
2131
01:49:56,430 --> 01:49:59,299
["Someone Gets Hurt"
by Reneé Rapp playing]
2132
01:52:00,587 --> 01:52:01,655
You're next.
2133
01:52:01,788 --> 01:52:04,525
You could be really hot
if you change, like,
2134
01:52:04,658 --> 01:52:06,093
everything.